Eagerly anticipating my weekly Farscape dorkout, I happened to catch the Sci-Fi network's new Anthology show, Night Visions. And it sucks. Hard.

It seems like all these Neo-Twilight Zone shows keep getting worse and worse. Now the New Twilight Zone was OK, and Tales From The Crypt, although predictable, was still kinda cool, and it had the lovable Crypt Keeper on intros. And then came the new Outer Limits, which had the same ending every fucking episode: humanity is doomed because of its greed and maliciousness. I mean, if you made that point three or four times, you could hold my attention, but there's been like 200 episodes, and they all end the same goddamn way.

Sure, the Twilight Zone had its unhappy endings, caused by man's own weakness and folly, but there were just as many where there's a happy ending, or at the very least redemption. What made Rod Serling (bless his lefty heart) probably the best screen and stage writer of the mid 20th century was that he seemed like he wasn't sure if the future was full of hope, or full of terror. I think that's a healthy attitude and certainly the best mindset to produce the great stories Serling he did.

Now, along comes Night Visions. It's the Bud Light of anthology shows. Just like Bud Light has the alcoholic content of my piss, and yet it claims to be real beer, Night Visions has simple uninteresting little supernatural morality tales, and tries to sell them as thought provoking and scary Twilight Zoneesque stories. And, it's got a hip face, even better than Spuds McKenzie. Love him or hate him, however, Henry Rollins is not Rod Serling, no matter how serious he tries to sound.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I just realized I'm spending Friday night alone, watching the SciFi channel, and bitching about the poor quality of its programming on my website. As I'm suddenly only one step away from being Harry Fucking Knowles, I feel the need to drink very heavily.