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This study is on all the major media outlets, in one form or another. Whaddya know, college kids drink too much. DUHHHHH!

I wonder how much this study cost. I graduated last year, and, make no mistake about it, I drank a lot in my college career. Frat boys were jealous of my alcohol intake (this isn’t so outrageous, considering most Frat boys drink Bud Light by choice). I didn’t even have mommy and daddy paying for my good times (or tuition or rent for that matter). I had to pay my own hard earned cash to get schlacked.

Now, while it’s true that alcohol is involved with all sorts of unsavory activity, I think its important to remember that unsavory people are also involved.

Yes it’s true drunk girls get date raped. However, it’s the males who are much less drunk that do the raping. Alcohol isn’t the problem here. Sick fucks who think it’s a good idea to stick their dicks into unwilling passed out girls are the problem. We don’t need to outlaw booze, we need to take rapists of any variety, and smash their balls with jagged rocks. That’ll learn ‘em.

The most annoying part of this whole issue are those students who piss and moan about how terrible it is for their fellow students who drink too much. Or smoke. Or have fun. Some TV program, I think it was the O’Reily factor, had a bunch of white-bread student representatives from all these shitty colleges around the country. They were all whining about how public drunkenness is such a disgrace, and how their schools were taking increasingly draconian measures to ensure a “dry” campus. What kind of wussy would want to go to an alcohol free school? And who would be lame enough to publicize their wussiness on national TV.

These are the mindless overachieving Christian or Marxist kids (they really are the same deep down) who ran for class president in high school, and cried for a month when they lost to the dumb jock. These are the people who grow up to become Tipper Gore or Ralph Nader, who think I need to be protected from booze, cigarettes, swear words, or a high paying corporate job. I am, of course, an ignorant child, and need these good people to show me what’s best. Sorry guys, I’ve got parents already. I love them, but I still don’t let them tell me what to do. What makes the health / temperance / thought Nazis, who I find infinitely more annoying , think I’ll listen to their bitching?

I think I speak for the majority of decent people in this country when I tell the defenders of virtue, health, and morality that they’d be advised to suck my ass, then find a nice sewer to crawl into.

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