Speaking of Europeans that confuse me, here’s another story from the Telegraph on Irish Nationalist attacks against a Unionist parade. Twenty policeman were injured by a variety of riots, gasoline (call it petrol if you want guys) bombs, and brick throwing. And, despite one lovely young blogger’s obvious sympathies on the subject, the whole damned thing makes me desperately ashamed of having even one quarter of my genetics emanating from the Emerald Isle. Come on guys, Cromwell was 350 years ago. Most of these stupid proddie / catholic battles ended sometime in the 18th century. Can’t ya just work it out?

I think, on this side of the pond at least, the Unionist / Nationalist conflict simply stymies all but the most interested of Irish Americans.

The funny thing is how many of those silly Irish Americans there are. The vile IRA receives millions from American-based Irish orginizations, while Sinn Fein’s Gerry Adams meets with our good friend Fidel Castro. Dickheads.

My mother, as an opposite example, was raised Protestant in Idaho, and insists on wearing orange on St. Patrick’s day, despite the fact that her mother’s Irish ancestors (who’d been in the good ol’ USA since the 1890’s) were green Catholics from Cork. Hoho, the sweet irony. I’ll bet great-great-grandma Barry would be pissed.

I can’t say as I fault mom for her choice, though. The Republicans have been terrorists since the get go, but Unionists have certainly responded in kind. I guess, As P.J. O’Rourke would say, there’s an “acceptable level of violence.” Acceptable to the people lobbing bombs I suppose.

My dad, being the wonderfully cranky English / Indian / Scandinavian mutt he is (and I certainly identify more with that than mom’s supposed Irish heritage), simply watches the TV news and mumbles beneath his breath, “fucking idiots…”

Why those Irish guys can’t just settle on going after the hot Colleens (of which the Irish people can claim many fine examples), instead of firebombing parades, is beyond me. What, are they putting estrogen in the beer over there, removing the normal male desire to focus entirely on the fly honeys? It's quite simple lads: Killing civilians over religion and history = bad, getting jiggy with the chicks = good. C'mon guys, figure it out already!