October 16, 2002
The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Death
24 years ago today, at around 9:00 AM PDT, I was pried (a c-section baby) out into the world kicking and screaming. I believe this is why I hate mornings, even now.
I’m a bit ambivalent about the day. After you’ve reached 21 isn’t it all just a steady decline? I mean, once you can legally drink, what the hell’s the point of keeping track? I am, however, feeling old. I think it’s time to do my yearly beard growing ritual. Yes, the beard may be necessary.
On the plus side, once my John Wayne religion gets going, I’m sure the masses of my followers will demand October 16 as a national holiday. And everyone wants another holiday, right? Make your plans accordingly.
Posted by Captain Mojo at October 16, 2002 04:37 AM
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Your 22nd birthday is the first day of the rest of your death, and you stole my line, you SOB. Anyway, Happy B-day, I'm sorry I can't steal all your money in a few rounds of poker the way you did on my B-day.
Just imagine some drunken rambling about physics and/or hot chicks and listening to someone wandering off to puke on the balcony and you'll be right back to your last 5 birthdays. Cap it off with an incoherent conversation about Yeats and failed relationships while listening to Beck and Guns 'n Roses until passing out on the couch with gin on your shirt and beer running down your leg.
Oh crap! That's not beer.
Good times, good times.
Heres to a few more before your liver and lungs give out.
Happy birthday, Captain!
Born in the 70s, huh? I hope your mom didn't put bell-bottom diapers on you.
There's no decline after 21. Most men look increasingly better with advancing age, as long as they keep their drinking under control. The stories about physical decline are exaggerated too; if you keep exercicing, you can reach your peak-strength as late as 45 or even 50.
The downside is that you get hairier and meatier (not necessarily fatter) as you get older; must be one of evolution's little tricks to keep young women away from not quite so young guys (works like a treat, I'm sad to say).
I'll leave it to you to figure out the rest; alimony, VD, jealous husbands... ;)
Thanks y'all. Aside from the working for 12 hours, this has been a fairly pleasant birthday. They even got me a cake here at the office. Life is good.
And yes, I did steal that line from Cornflake. And, yes, his was a pretty valid description of my last couple of birthdays. Good times indeed.
your car insurance will go down @ 25, so there's
1 more to look forward to.
sorry, i saw this late.
you share the same b-day as my dad.
hope it was a good one.
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