What the Hell Did You Think The Marines Do?

A young marine reservist suddenly realises he's a conscientious objector:

Wearing camouflage fatigues, Lance Cpl. Stephen Funk turned himself in at the locked gates of the Marine Corps reserve center where he was assigned, weeks after refusing to report when called up to active duty.

"Ultimately, it's my fault for joining in the first place," said Funk, who didn't show up when his unit was deployed to Camp Pendleton. "It wasn't as well thought out as it should've been. It was about me being depressed and wanting direction in life."

Now what did this guy think he was signing up for, Boy scouts? Has he never seen a goddamn movie. The article states that he grew up in Washington state. As a native Washingtonian, I can personally attest to the anti-military indoctrination he got from the school system. So what's his excuse?

He said he caved in to pressure from a recruiter who capitalized on his vulnerability.

"They don't really advertise that they kill people," Funk said. "I didn't really realize the full implications of what I was doing and what it really meant to be in the service as a reservist."

Of course, it was the mean ol' recruiter's fault!

Youth, stupidity, and teen angst are no excuse buddy. Stephen Funk, you're our Fucktard Of The Week! Congratulations.

UPDATE: Since he might fail for a conscientious objector status, young Mr. Funk is now ensuring he sees no combat by proclaiming that he is gay:

"I believe that as a gay man, someone who is misunderstood by much of the general population, I have a great deal of experience with hatred and oppression," Lance Cpl. Stephen Funk wrote in his application for a conscientious objector discharge.

Yup, hatred and oppression, blah blah blah. That still doesn't explain why you joined the marines in the first place fucktard...

Jeebus…

I guess ya gotta give the boy credit for being thorough in his weaselness…

 

Posted by Captain Mojo at April 01, 2003 09:02 PM | TrackBack