Music Review: Reverend Horton Heat — Lucky 7

The Reverend Horton Heat is one of rock's finest performers and showmen. He and his band are truly impressive, and, trust me, if you haven't seen the Rev live, you haven't lived. What I really love about the band, however, is their ability to capture that energy of the live performances and pressing them onto their CDs. The Reverend's albums have become cleaner and more refined as time goes by, but the energy is still there.

Lucky 7 is probably the band's best since the 1994's near-perfect Liquor In The Front, which was one of the theme album for my drunken college experience. Over the last several years, the good Reverend has toned down the psycho from his psycho-billy act, and replaced the punk sounds with solid rock-a-billy and honky-tonk, which has produced several decent to good albums, but nothing truly outstanding. His last album Spend A Night In The Box was technically outstanding, but, aside from the title track, it completely failed to hook me.

The new album has all the technical excellence of the last, and much of the same sounds. Where it differs, is in the quality of the songs, which are excellent and classic Reverend. All the songs are good, but a few stand out. The album begins with Loco Gringos Like A Party, an anthem for the kind of drunken debauchery we all try to so very hard to take part in. It ends with an epic ode to the Rev's bassist Jimbo Wallace in the full on gospel You've Got A Friend In Jimbo (he's got a six pack of goodwill and joy to share). Hallelujah. My favorite, though, is the catchy Galaxy 500, a car and woman song which harkens back to the old RHH albums of the early 90's and has quickly become one of my favorite Rev songs ever.

If you're not all that familiar with the Reverend 's good word (you poor bastard), Lucky 7 isn't a bad place to jump in. If you're already a member of the congregation, well, you should get the damn album already.

*note*
It looks like I'll be a part of Eric Olsen's Blogcritics project, so these reviews things will probably be more common than I previously thought.

What Was I Saying, Jesse?

Speak of the Devil, just as I was warning about the dangers of Jesse Jackson's Mideast Tour, we get a new bombing at an Israeli university. 7 dead, including two Americans, and it looked like the bomber was targeting foreigners.

And who do you suppose was behind the attack? None other than Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, and the rest of his fucks at Hamas.

Jesse Jackson, being the oh-so smart guy he is, has decided to cancel his visit with Yassin, and instead is gorging himself on baby wipes over at Arafat's place.

*UPDATE* The American death toll is up to 5 a day later.

The Ramallah Reverend?

As Ian noted over at the Highway a couple of days ago, and Ha'aretz reminds us today, Jesse Jackson is over in the Holy Land, urinating on the smoldering remains of his credability. First he gave Yassir a hearty handshake, instead of the sound ass-kicking he deserves, and now he's about to do something truly vile; he's going to meet with Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, head of Hamas.

To say this is mindlessly irresponsible or totally indefensible is understating the case by several orders of magnitude. Hamas is a terrorist organization. Even Powell’s State Department recognizes the thuggish murderers for what they are, and we all know how difficult it is for them to see a clear and present danger. Hamas is one of those groups burning old glory and screaming “death to America” at full volume. They hate us as much as Israel.

For me, Jackson’s meeting with Yassin is a mere step or two away from Hanoi-Jane style aid and comfort. The propaganda value he gives Hamas simply by meeting with them will cost Israeli and Palestinian lives, and might even kill an American or two one day.

Yeah, that Jackson's a real pillar of the community. That is, if the pillar is shaped like a big fat dong.

But Sarge, My Rifle Smells Like Fish

StrategyPage has some news for you China watchers out there. It looks like the PLA is working on a way to overcome its lack of naval transport:

With the growing Chinese military capability again in the news, a February 1, 2002 article in the Beijing "Jianchuan Zhishi" on organizing fishing vessels for sea-crossing operations is worth examining. The Chinese admit that their conventional amphibious assets are insufficient to support any serious moves, so they have plan to muster 200 to 250 fishing ships (each over 50 tons and carrying a platoon or squad).

The Chinese claim once the system is setup they'll have about 50 of these armed fishing fleets, each capable of moving a division of infantry (that's about 400,000 troops alltogether). They'll still rely on their military transports for heavy equipment and artillery.

I certainly can't see this having much chance of working against Taiwan without the Chinese gaining complete naval and air dominance of the Taiwan strait. With the pathetic state of the PLA air force and a navy that isn’t much better, that dominance just ain’t gonna happen any time soon.

I Love My Google Hits

So, I check my referrer logs every now and then, and I very infrequently get search engine hits. This is partially because the new site hasn’t started getting indexed by Google yet. But when my archives do get hit, it’s usually, um, interesting.

Sure, there are occasionally reasonable searches, like a query for info on Phil Donahue’s new MSNBC show, and I got a ton from the whole George Michael fiasco (especially from Europeans) but the rest... Geesh, I’ll just give you some examples, starting tame and going downhill.

First off we’ve got the rapid Asparagirl fans:

aparagirl+pic (resulting archive hit)

At first I thought we had a dangerous stalker on our hand, but it’s not that bad, as I think somewhere on her site A-girl tells people, if they’re all that interested, to do a search for her pic. I get these hits all the time, and I'm afraid they don't find what they’re looking for.

Next, we move from devoted blogger worshippers (where can I get one or two of those?), to those with slightly more disturbing fetishes:

passed+out+girls (resulting archive hit)

Now this poor, sick, bastard was just looking for some deviant pornography, and what does he get instead? A drunken Mojo rant about how much I hate rapists, where I’m pointing my accusative finger directly at him. I guess this wouldn’t creep me out as much if it wasn’t so common. I sometimes get 10 or 15 hits a week from this search. Today’s example comes from the French version of Google. So, how does one say “pathetic fuck” in Francaise?

My favorite so far comes via the UK Google

blowjob+machine (resulting archive hit)

Now this one links to one of my slanderous screeds against the cable news networks. I can only imagine what this person was actually searching for, but I (and I think most men) wish him luck on his quest to find it. Especially if it comes standard with beer-can holders. We salute you in your research sir.

These past examples have all offered various degrees of kink and psychosis, but the last one takes it to a whole new level:

dominant+mommy+piss+stories (resulting archive hit)

Wow. I mean, it’s got it all. S&M, incest, urine. What more could a super-freak want.

Now, I’m not one to generally cast stones on a person’s reading material (I usually have much better reasons to throw shit), but WTF? The person who searched for this has got to be the most fucked up individuals to ever visit this site, and that’s saying something. I don’t know how Google could have mangled one of my archive pages enough for it to return my site as a relevant match.

What the hell is wrong with someone who not only wants incestuous golden shower domination porn, but wants it in literary erotica form, so they can take their sweet time visualizing it? As always, I think the only proper response is to find a lead pipe.

So I'm curious, have any of my blogging brethren had any interesting referrer hits you’d like to share with the class?

*Update* It looks like Dr. Frank has a pretty good list going as well...

Holy Floral Arrangements Batman!

Go check out the picture of this cool 6 Acre flower flag over at LAP.

I Always Figured I'd Be The One In The Mask

Link via Jen Rajkowski:

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

You made it through the flick, but, um, it's not a pretty picture. You're the bloody heap in the corner who everyone thought was dead until you stumble into the hero's arms after the bad guy bites it (think Jamie Kennedy in Scream). You are a smart and fiesty person, but you're also a little reckless and you tend to put yourself in awkward positions -without a good weapon. But even though you get sliced up a bit, you get to survive and that's all that matters. Who needs all those toes, ears, and arms you'll be missing by the end of the flick anyway?

Uh, right... Why can't I just get a large caliber handgun to work with? I mean, come on!

More Music Reviews

OK guys, continuing from my last music review post, I’ve been on a CD buying spree over the past week, so now I’ll share my opinions on my recent purchases.

The Swedish Invasion

First, I’ll discuss Veni, Vedi, Vicious, from Swedish Rockers, The Hives. As the title suggests, the band’s second American LP has some of that Sex Pistols sound, but if I had to pin it down, I’d say the band really seems more of an unholy coupling between the Ramones and The Rolling Stones. Its spastic, three chord punk rock builds on top of 60’s pop-rock song construction. Like other recent old school rock revivalists (The White Stripes or Strokes for instance), The Hives have a raw sound and don’t use (or need) a lot of studio cleanup. To quote one old, junky, crotch-goblin, “It’s only Rock and Roll, but I like it.”

The album is fairly tight, with not much in the way of filler. It’s full of potential singles, but particularly memorable are Die, All Right, Main Offender, Hate to Say I Told You So, and Supply And Demand. The only weak-point I can see, is that aside from one song, everything sounds fairly similar. However, it’s a good enough sound that you shouldn’t mind. And of course, being Swedish Punk-Rockers, the lyrics are not the strongest. Consider their wailing against the evils of Capitalism in Die, All Right:

Hey! I've got a message and tonight I'm gonna send it.
Yeah! I had a body, men with knives wanted to lend it.
Sold my body to the company so I got the money now away I go Thank you Mr. CEO.

See what I mean. But lead singer Pelle Alqvist’s distinctive rendition of this sub-par poetry caps the three chord goodness of the rest of the band.

The charming faux cocky foreigners "we are you're new favorite band" sthick, although appealing, has been done better by masters of the apporach, the infamous and much beloved Red Elvises (who may, in fact, be my favorite band).

The album is short, though, with twelve tracks that average at about 2:15 a piece, but like most good punk-y bands, it’s a fast burning flame that burns twice as bright.

One of the benefits of the short album time is the video files included on the computer-enhanced part of the CD. Instead of the normal crappy low-res Quicktime files you normally get on an enhanced CD, I’m given large, good quality, platform-independent Mpeg files. Which is nice, as the quasi-cartoon video for Main Offender is one of the coolest I’ve seen in quite some time.

Overall it’s a pretty damn good album. Although, with their recent MTV success, they certainly don’t need any help from me, I still give ‘em the ol’ thumbs up.

Of Sealabs and Trampolines

For my next bit of wondrous reviewing, I’m going to talk about the 1999 self-titled debut EP for the Band Calamine. The New York Band’s six-song album is really some well crafted indy-pop. I admit, I’m a sucker for chick-fronted indy rock, and this is a fine example of the genre. I’m sure this would make Frank Black roll over in his grave, but I don’t care, he was a dirty cock-holster anyways (Whaddya mean he’s not dead?). Which is funny, because Calamine and the Pixies with Kim Deal singing have a few similarities in sound.

Calamine, is (or was, I’m not sure if the band is now defunct their only album is three years old) fronted by Julie Stepanek, based in New York, and did the catchy theme song for Cartoon Network's Sealab 2021 (which is a hilarious show, by the way). The band’s sound is mostly mellow, but layered guitar and bass mix with Stepanek’s sometimes girly, sometimes manic voice and harmonize with guitarist Dan Crane’s backup vocals to produce some sweet-ass songs.

The six songs are all good, and no filler is involved. Aside from the ever-present vocals of Stepanek, each song has a unique sound. My personal favorite is the nostalgic, slow-paced Trampoline (when I’m in one of my nostalgic, non-drunken-rage moments), although cases could easily be made for the more forceful Repulsion, or the short and catchy Horse and Carriage.

Best of all, three of their songs are available for download on the band’s website. So, go my friends. Download, listen, and let me know what you think about these guys.

Well, that’s enough reviewing for now. I’ll have more soon, including the latest Reverend Horton Heat and Dressy Bessy albums.

Aw, And I Was All Stocked Up On Ammo And Baked Beans

The Dow, Nasdaq, and S&P are up more than 5%. So, I guess civilisation is not doomed after all. Well, who knows what's going to spook investors next. The mysterious irrational fears are temporarily soothed.

So my question is, at what point did the market become dominated by hysterical pansies, and when did we agree to make the “psychology” of the market more important than profits or losses?

Every time I see one of these big fluctuations, and the media reaction to it, I’m reminded of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes:

Kent Brockman: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?

Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.

Ticking Clocks And Carbon Rods

Ian over at Fierce Highway reminds us why time is not on our side in regards to regime change in Iran:

There has been some growing conversation about the possibility that Iran may be experiencing some serious internal upheaval. Obviously, it would be a terrific development if there was an uprising against the repressive government of Iran, and a push for a more democratic state gained traction.

One of the larger problems I see, though, is that the time is running out for it to be a successful one. If there isn't a major effort mounted in the next two to three years, any opposition movements may suffer a setback from which it will take decades to recover.

The setback would come in the form of a nuclear reactor plant coming online in Bushehr. Iran's plant is already proposing tests, and could be ready for operation in under three years. And with the event of a nuclear power base, I fear that the current pseudo-religious regime in Iran would be given more grudging legitimacy and presense in international diplomacy.

He's right of course. Go read the rest.

When Did He start Writing For The Weekly Standard?

P.J. O'Rourke gives us his opinions on the rash of corporate accounting scandals (via Daily Pundit). As usual, hilarity ensues:

Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats--thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. Democrats are an important part of the Washington ecosystem. Extinction of Democrats would lead to serious disruption in the food chain. We of the bloodthirsty right-wing press would be forced to rely for our prey solely on John McCain.

And there's more. Suddenly our kids think we're hip. "Gangsta Rap" is very popular with today's teens, as is dressing in prison garb and acting and speaking as if one belonged to the Crips, the Bloods, or some other criminal organization. The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, "We be thugs." The GOP may capture the youth vote at last.

I can just picture the election night young Republicans meeting. Angry looking pasty young men wearing weaing a suit, tie, and beanie hat, drinking 40's and shouting "G-O-P Bi-zatch!" Suddenly they pull out their glocks and start busting caps, "Yeah bitch, we takin' the Hiz-ouse!"

I think it might work. I really do.

How Many Made It Out?

For the record, I thought all those miners were dead for sure...

Any bets on how long it takes for the made-for-TV movie to come out?

Just Not Getting It

Ok, I was just starting to forgive the man for forgetting what the definition of "is" is (among other things), but now he's forgotten what "ex" means, as in "ex-president." Yes, Bill Clinton is back on the scene, and under the impression that someone cares what he thinks:

On the Middle East, Mr Clinton said Mr Bush had mistakenly disengaged from the region. He praised Colin Powell, which will do the US Secretary of State little good in a White House where some suspect he is a closet Democrat.

"I think it was a mistake to get out for a year," Mr Clinton said. "The important thing is, right now, that they be involved. I always thought that Secretary Powell wanted to do that."

Now, I've tried not to rag too much on the Clinton administration's negligence with regards to Al-Qaeda. There is something to be said for the “we didn’t actually think they would actually try something like 9-11.” Such an attack was obviously suicidal to any organization that tried it. Deterrence had worked for the past 50 years.

However, we underestimated our enemies as much as they underestimated us. I can almost forgive the Clinton administration for not believing in the threat. The events of September 11 would seem far-fetched to any of us if someone warned us of the attack in August of ’01.

I can also look beyond the fact that, during Clinton’s Presidency, our naval sea-transport capability was reduced to practically zilch. I mean, hell, that’s just what Democrats do, isn’t it?

The Middle East is a different matter. Clinton’s statements are not only hypocritical, but irresponsible and vile. Clinton is responsible for continually strengthening the thuggish regime of Yassir Arafat, while weakening America’s long-time ally, Israel. The Oslo Accords didn’t provide a framework for peace, they provided Arafat and his friends in Hamas a chance to purchase guns and ammunition. Arafat doesn’t want peace. He, and his henchmen, have made that sufficiently clear. Continued negotiations with the Palestinian Authority just gives them more cover to plan bombings against civilians.

There are no, potential “Peace Partners” in any level of Palestinian society. There are only combatants who see that terrorism gets results. At every point, Clinton, and the Department of State, tried desperately to appease a dictatorial and dangerously violent regime, and now we’re left with a people who overwhelmingly support suicide-bombing civilians as a legitimate political act. That is the legacy of Clinton’s policy, and anyone who would listen to his advice on foreign policy after the events of the last year is beyond stupid.

More Weezer Dorkdom

Which Weezer Song are You?

Busy...

Blogging will be light (er, lighter than the normally light blogging that is) over the next day or two. Steven Baxter's Manifold Origins finally arrived in the mail from Amazon, so I want to tear through it.

I Need to Go See It

So how's this for an endorsment? Both the MojoMom and MojoKidSister give the latest Austin Powers movie a hearty thumbs-up. I don't know wheither this is a sign of the end-times or just a really funny movie, but I'm desperately curious...

Oh, and how's this for my spy profile:

Captain "Dauntless" Mojo
You have eluded capture, killed the assassin, reclaimed the family jewels and are now confronted with 100 armed men and no visible means of escape. Are you kidding? You live for these scenarios and always manage to escape.

Vital Gear
Includes a loyal sidekick to help you escape, crazy glue, and making sure the bad guys attack one at a time.

Yeah, Baby! (bet ya didn't see that one coming)

Useful New Feature Alert!

Tired of slogging through the CaptainMojo archives? Looking for that story you casually came upon sometime last month, but can’t remember which day it was? Well, I’ve had enough of it, and I’m not going to take it anymore!

That’s right friends, if you’ll kindly turn your attention to the left of the page, right beneath the Blogroll, you’ll see the new search utility. It’s very powerful, so only use it for good, not evil.

Through testing it, I’ve learned I use the word “Ass” far too often...

Hello, 1992? Yes, We've Found Your Headline.

"Saddam 'seeking nuclear arms'" is the headline for this UK Telegraph article about a recent Tony Blair Interview. So, to whom, outside of a Chomskyite circle-jerk, is this actually news?

BIG ROCK

Through the Nando Times , NASA reports that a mile-long asteroid, called 2002 NT7, could strike the Earth on February 1, 2019. NASA isn't too worried: they estimate only a 1 in 250,000 chance of Earth impact.

I, however, am not easily mollified by such numbers. I have been to Las Vegas with Captain Mojo: his bad luck could kill us all. 1 in 250,00 is nothing to him. I honestly believe that he could play the lottery with reverse odds and lose. As much as I love to play poker against him, I do not want to be on this planet in 2019 if he’s still here.

In all seriousness, though, a mile-long asteroid moving 50 km/s on Earth-intercept is a big deal. 1.2 million megatons of energy released is as much as 6,000 Krakatoas. On the bright side, it’s estimated that the KT impactor (the dinosaur killer) was 10 miles wide, so NT7 is an order of magnitude smaller than the KT hammer. Still, 6,000 Krakatoas all at once would be decidedly unpleasant.

NASA says that they will have a much better idea where NT7 is going after they’ve watched it for a year. So, if, in a year, we realize this thing is actually coming down the pipe, what would we do to stop it? We would have fifteen years to figure something out: could we deflect it or break it up in time?

More on The Northwest Connection

The Denver Post brings us more information on James Ujaama (via World Wide Rant), a Seattle resident who was arrested monday in Colorado as a material witness in relation to possible Al-Quada activities in the US. Semi Osman's Seattle-based group is accused of assisting Al-Quada and the Taliban, and planning a training base in rural Oregon.

Despite obivous connections between the Osman group (with links to the same London mosque connected with Zacharias Moussaoui and Richard Reid) and Ujaama, local politicians refuse to see a connection:

Community leaders in Seattle defended both Ujaama brothers. King County Executive Ron Sims, the elected head of Washington's largest county, said he "strongly doubted" they are terrorists. Sims said he was surprised by the arrest but hadn't talked with the Ujaamas for several years.

For the record, no candidate I've ever voted for in local elections has won. Ever. So don't blame me...

Music Reviews, You Can Use

Here we go on a new feature at CaptainMojo.com. I’ll post reviews on new CDs that I buy, for the benefit of you, my beloved reader. Here we go…

I just bought the new Weezer CD, almost solely on the strength of the video for their new single, Keep Fishing (the video features the Muppets, and anything featuring the Jim Henson seal is warmly regarded in Mojo-land). I’ve been a Weezer fan since their masterwork, Pinkerton, came out in ’96. And as with most Weezer fans, I waited many years for Rivers Cuomo’s sequel in 2001’s Green Album. The wait, for me at least, was somewhat, in vain, as the new album had a few good singles, packaged with mediocre to decent filler. GA was listenable, but lacked the real meaty claws that made the band’s first two offerings so sweet.

Well, Maladroit, I’m afraid, is an obvious continuation of the last album’s path to so-so-ness. Keep Fishing is probably the winner of the album, but I can’t see what the second single is gonna be. The rest of the album strikes me as just average Emo stuff. Being Weezer, it’s still decent, but completely unremarkable. If you’re expecting a return to the popish tunes of Pinkerton or their 1994 self-titled debut, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.

On another purchase, I have nothing but praise for Neutral Milk Hotel’s 1998 In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Not being a hip person, I’d only heard a few Neutral Milk Hotel songs before purchasing the album a few days ago. Headed by Jeff Magnum, and linked in some mysterious and transcendental ways with Indy Pop greats Apples In Stereo and Olivia Tremor Control, the band mixes an Indy sound with a folksy soul.

Although the album can drag in spots, songs such as Two Headed Boy, Holland 1945, and Communist Daughter provide solid listening goodness. Mojo Recommended.

Why I Love The USA

…Part 3 of a continuing series…

Tonight, I’m pondering the greatness of our culture’s public houses. I can randomly walk into any of the many local pubs or taverns, nearly abandoned on a weeknight such as tonight, and order a pint (a pint, and not a "half-litre" dammit) of something dark and lovely. Following this, I can be entertained by a lone guitarist on stage, 50-something in age, singing gentle love songs of his own devising, followed by an acoustic cover of AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap. Sweet.

Life in our great civilization can be downright pleasant at times.

A Few Acres of Sovereign US Territory, In The Persian Gulf

StrategyPage links to this USA Today article, which mentions the possibility of using a carrier, or converting another ship, for permanent use as a floating Special Forces platform (as the Kitty Hawk was used in Afghanistan). I’ve read about this idea, a sort of Super Amphibious Assault Ship, before, and it seems like it’s going to go ahead in one form or another. Which is good.

I think the converted carrier idea, although more expensive, is by far the best idea. We need a fast ship capable of storing lots of troops. A converted transport just won’t be as effective in getting to hot spots in a hurry. Plus, having an extra carrier around that can be easily re-converted for air operations will almost certainly come in handy.

The Constellation’s a fine ship (my Pa served on her back in the 60’s, and I’ve been on board a few times during her port calls to Seattle), and I’d hate to see her retired in ’03 when she’s got a perfectly good use. Sure, it’s more expensive than taking some junky freighter and popping a flight deck on top of it, but keeping a Super-Carrier afloat and operational gives the Navy a flexibility no other ship can provide.

P.R. Nightmare

I knew that the Israeli strike on a house in a residential section of Gaza was going to be bad press, and Damian Penny brings us proof:

And he links to this transcript of CNN’s Newsnight, where Daniel Pipes somewhat tries to defend the attacks.

At least they killed the guy they were after.

It doesn't really matter. Those who already oppose Israel don't really need evidence for their hatred, and those who back Israel have chosen their horse. Everyone in the middle just sees more monkeys throwing poop at each other.

As for me, I lost the last ounce of sympathy I had for the Palestinians a while ago. It’s a little late to be bitching about civilian casualties now guys...

Guns, and Warplanes, and Hackers, Oh My!

More on the “Millennium Challenge 2002,” (via Drudge) that big training exercise that I mentioned earlier. It involves an even broader field of action than I had previously thought, including a second headquarters in Suffolk Virginia, as well as attempts to hack into comm systems and Unmanned vehicles. A major focus will be avoiding friendly fire.

13,500 troops involved, and a quarter billion dollar price-tag, I hope it sharpens the ol’ sword some before we head into Iraq.

Well, She Was Pretty Young at The Time, I Guess.

News from the Telegraph that assassinated Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn’s party has taken its first hit, as Philomena Biljhoult, the Fortuyn party’s Minister for Emancipation and Family Affairs, has resigned. She was linked to the 1980s Suriname Military of Desi Bouterse, which killed 15 in 1982.

The Fortuyn party is an insanely eclectic party, and it’s just a matter of time until the whole thing blows up...

This Just Seems Wrong...

Via Pejman.

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

The big ol' head makes sense (I do have a giant, bulbous head), but what's with this nice guy stuff? I think not.

Babysitting The New Prez

So Afghanistan's President Hamid Karzai no longer feels he can trust Afghan bodyguards to protect him. What does that mean? Well, if you can't trust your own people, bring in Americans!

This is a bad sign on so many levels. The Afghan “government” is not much more stable than it was in December. Assassinations and power grabs are happening all over the place. American soldiers as Karzai’s personal bodyguard just reeks of propping up a dying government, which I guess is because that’s exactly what it is. However, as the Time piece suggests, there’s no better alternatives.

It strikes a disturbing historical chord with me, as I envision Roman Legions propping up petty Celtic kingdoms in the 1st and 2nd centuries.

Although, now that I think about it, things worked out pretty well for them (aside from that nasty Boudicca business). Roman Britain had nearly four centuries of peace and prosperity, which was only really ended by the arrival of my good friends Hengest and Horsa in the mid 5th century.

Israelis Strike Gaza

It looks like Israel is taking the fight against Hamas to the Gaza Strip. IDF F-16s bombed a house in Gaza city, targeting Shehadeh, a Hamas bigwig.

The U.N. has already condemned the attack (surprise). There's going to be all sorts of bad PR as well, since the house was in a residential neighborhood with western cameramen all over the place.

Well, Ya Don't say...

So who settled the Perejil islet ruckus between Spain and Morocco? Was it the ever patient, diplomatic, pacifist, EU, or the reckless war-mongering cowboy Americans? If you said the EU, you’re probably a big Jerry Lewis fan, but you’re also wrong (UK Telegraph story). Now to be fair, the EUnochs did try to play fair mediator in the whole affair, which would be great if Spain wasn’t a freaking EU member!

EU officials were even more disturbed by France's decision to block a statement supporting Spain at a closed-door meeting of EU ambassadors last Wednesday, effectively turning against a fellow member in a crisis.

The French deny taking the Moroccans' side at a key moment in the dispute, but the move was viewed in Brussels as a treacherous act. It evoked memories of Belgium's refusal to sell ammunition to Britain during the Gulf war.

The effect was to cause Spain to turn its back on Brussels and look to the Bush administration in Washington as a more dependable ally in finding a way out of the impasse.

Oh no, the EU isn’t completely powerless in world affairs. Not at all...

But it's Purple!

Den Beste has another post discussing honest benchmarks and Apple's "Megahertz Myth" propaganda campaign. Summary: on an open benchmark a state of the art PC will consistently outperform the top of the line PPC. The x86 hardware is just more advanced, because there's actual competition in the marketplace, in memory, motherboards, and CPUs. Apple has Motorola for the chips, and that's it. The AMD-Intel competition has meant good, good things for the PC.

More on That Can't Judge a Book by It's Cover Stuff

Asia Carrera: Porn star. Entrepreneur. Video game dork with genius-level IQ.

I was just dorking out watching a show on G4tv (a cable network devoted to video games) before bed, and what should I see, but an interview with porn star Asia Carrera. She is apparently a complete video gaming freak, and has built her own site where she serves up player models and skins. Jebus! She’s a worse gaming dork than I was in high school, and that’s saying something! (Heh, beer is difficult to get when you're that young, and chicks even more so. A fella's got to do something with his time. I grew outta it. Well, mostly...)

It’s very weird to actually listen to her talk, as she sounds like a bunch of geek girls I’ve known in my days. Also, she’s said to have an IQ that hovers around 150. Ya learn somthin’ new every day, I guess.

NOTE: Yes, having just written a post that combines both porn stars and video games, I am now officially a big, fat LOSER^TM. There is no redemption at this point, all is lost.

Now Where are Those Pesky Romanoffs?

Which Soviet Leader are you? go to:the quiz!

So, like, do I get put on public display when I croak? That would be cool...

Airbone Lasers Are Cool

Another noteworthy item linked from StrategyPage, is this CNN story on the first flight of The Airborne Laser, which I mentioned in an earlier post. The modified 747 will be an immensely valuable tool in future missile defense strategies.

UPDATE: Yes, its Airbone. That's not a drunken typo. It's a colorful description of what the laser does to its target, a nickname given to it by a secret cabal of laser weapon technicians.

Ugh, I really need to proofread this shit when I'm sober…

StrategyPage Goodness

According to StrategyPage, the British Navy has apparently determined that its ships are vulnerable to attack from swarms of smaller, suicide, boats:

…The problem is there are just not enough weapons to deal with that many small, maneuverable targets at close range. The short-term plan is to equip the anti-missile guns with an electro-optical site for anti-surface work, but it may be necessary to provide the ships with a dozen infantry-type heavy machineguns that could be pulled out of storage and mounted on deck stanchions if a threat presents itself…

I know most US ships have at least a small Marine detachment armed, with light infantry weapons, but is this enough to stop 10 or more small craft intent on pulling a splodydope? And will we see the addition of smaller caliber anti-personnel cannon and machine guns as standard gear on new or refitted ships?

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE SECOND LAW

There is some noise in the blogosphere right now about possible violations of the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Reported violations of the laws of thermodynamics are as old as the laws themselves, and the vast majority are easily discreditable, but this particular story is both interesting and informative.

An eye-catching summary of the recent research can be found at the BBC website. Unfortunately, the article is more sensational than it is accurate. Any science piece that begins with "One of the most important principles of physics... has been shown to be untrue" should be taken with a good-sized grain of salt (or a good stiff drink, if it really is one of those millennial discoveries in question).

So, drink or salt? In a rare case for me, I must caution against a preemptory drink. Steven Den Beste covers the case pretty soundly: this experiment implies some small refinement of understood laws, and not a revolution in physics as we understand it. His commentary on both the second law and the experiment itself should help any bloggers out there to understand the nature of the discussion.

A research team in the Chemistry dept. at ANU (Australian National University) ran an experiment in which they electrically charged 100 tiny beads and shook them up (1000 shakes a second) in a water-filled container. After they observed and analyzed the behavior of the beads, they found that for short periods of time (<.1 seconds) the system of beads sometimes lost entropy (became more ordered), instead of gaining entropy (becoming more chaotic). This is an apparent violation of the Second Law.

Steven makes the point that this experiment does not even meet the conditions for the second law to be applicable. He points out that the energy entering the system through the laser at the beginning of the experiment demonstrates that the system in question is not closed.

Although this is a valid point, I think that it is worthwhile to point out one thing: there are no closed systems. Except perhaps the universe itself (and even that's up in the air, depending on which parts of Hawking's work you like better). Any exploration of thermodynamics requires aproximations of closed systems, because until we have the technology to create pocket universes, we are never, ever going to create a closed system. In fact, the laws of thermodynamics guarantee that we won't.

The fact that the system is open is not the main reason why this apparent violation is only superficial. The reason that second law violations were in evidence in this experiment is because the system in question is tiny. The BBC article actually mentions a theory which posits that as systems get smaller, their likelihood of showing second law violations increases. This should make intuitive sense, because the second law is statistical, not cause and effect. Because the second law is statistical, it's prediction (that entropy in a closed system [the universe] will increase over time) is much more accurate when the 'sample size' (or number of particles/waves) is very high. However, even huge systems will, by definition, violate the second law very, very infrequently (that's just statistics).

Baghdad by Christmas?

Good news from London (Via StrategyPage). A story in today's Telegraph states that British reservists will begin to be called up in September:

The Ministry of Defence is planning a mass mobilisation of key reservists beginning in September, heightening expectation that the United States and Britain are stepping up preparations for an attack on Iraq.

British troops have also been pulled out of Nato's ACE Mobile Force rapid reaction corps and British involvement in a large number of exercises has been cancelled or scaled down to leave troops ready for the attack on Iraq.

The Prime Minister has strongly backed the idea of a pre-emptive strike on Iraq and refused to commit the Government to a vote in the House of Commons on the deployment of British forces.

This is good news for two reasons:

1. A call for reservists means we've got a plan, and the decision to implement it has been made.
   
2. The British haven't abandoned us. They're the only Europeans who can actually help militarily, and I'll be glad to have at least one of our "allies" actually stand with us for once.

I wonder if the Aussies or Canadians will be contributing any troops or ships?

Like Paintball. Well, Not Really...

Christopher Cross (with appropriate permalink added on the left) brings us word of a massive mock battle that will be taking place next week in California and Nevada. The exercise, titled “The Millennium Challenge 2002,” will involve 13,500 troops from all branches of the Armed Forces. According to the article, the experiment will test the military’s ability to deal with “simulated weapons of mass destruction, urban warfare, the United Nations and humanitarian relief.”

Interesting...

Why Can’t The History Channel Move Out of The Dark Ages?

Ok, so I’m a History Channel junkie. Everyone who knows me knows that. Just ask Cornflake (if the bastard ever starts posting, hint, hint). When we finally got cable installed in our old college apartment, I spent two days straight watching all the History Channel goodness I could get.

Now, I’m tempted to spend all kinds of money buying recordings of their fine historical offerings, and I was especially interested in shows on one of my personal heroes, Davy Crockett. But there’s just one problem: I hate the VHS format. It’s fine for recording shows off the tube, but I refuse to actually buy movies or shows on VHS, which will horribly decay over time. The History Channel in specific, and its parent A&E networks in general, seems to have a tough time selling their wares in the far superior DVD format. I know for a fact it’s not that much more expensive to do (in fact, DVD duplication is physically far cheaper than VHS dubbing, it’s the mastering that’s the pain in the ass).

Don’t they see they’re missing out on my niche market of history buffs with high standards (and I’d pay a premium for that quality), and the old dudes looking to rebuild their VHS collection on the new format? Errrr…..

What do You Think They’re Going to Say Numbnuts?

Ashleigh Banfield of MSNBC is broadcasting from Baghdad. Right now, I’m watching her interview a bunch of common people on the street, and it’s just horrible. These people are constantly saying, “Yes, we love Saddam, the government is good,” all in very good English. I thought Banfield’s Iraqi handlers were giving her plants to interview, but then she asked them “who won the last war, America or Iraq?” They all answered Iraq, which, although ludicrous, is what you’d expect from an Iraqi mouthpiece.

But when you look at their faces when they were saying this, you can see something horrible: fear and dread. These people were desperately thinking about what the right thing to say was. These were not Iraqi plants, they were real people, and obviously afraid of saying something that would bring the secret police knocking. One man simply begged her not to ask questions he “could not answer.” I fear his failure to instantly declare his love of Saddam means he’s probably already dead. Or worse.

The Iraqi government’s purpose in showing these people to the media was to show the west how the Iraqi people were behind their dictator. What they, in fact, showed were a group of people dressed in western clothes, speaking articulate English, and looking terrified of the government official with the clipboard who was standing next to the pretty American (or Canadian in Banfield’s case) reporter. If this ain’t a people who needs liberating, I don’t know who is.

One Advantage to Islamofascism

Yes, the people of Iran are suffering under the burdens of their theocratic government, but at least the clerics are always creating new and interesting ways to execute people (story from Reuters):

Killer, Rapist to Be Thrown Off Cliff in Sack
Thu Jul 18,10:44 AM ET

TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian man, convicted for raping and killing his 16-year-old nephew, will be executed by being thrown off a cliff in a sack, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

If the unnamed man survives the fall down a rocky precipice, he will be hanged, legal experts said. He has 20 days to appeal the court sentence.

The killer was arrested last year in the northwestern city of Mashhad after "seducing" and killing his nephew, who worked as an assistant at the man's carpenter's workshop, the Norouz daily newspaper said.

Under Iran's Islamic law, applied since the 1979 revolution, pederasty, homosexuality and adultery are among a long list of crimes punishable by death.

Now the Iranians are going to be absorbing a lot of American culture while we beam in our propaganda broadcasts in support of a new Iranian revolution, but maybe this is an instance where we can learn something from the clerics.

Just think how useful the sack law would be when we find the bastard who kidnapped and killed 5-year-old Samantha Runnion. We've got some great cliffs up here in the Cascade Mountains we could use. Imagine, if you will:

Evil Fuck Murderer-Rapist- “Why did we just hike all this way?”

Executioner- “We’re going to throw you off this cliff.”

EFMR- “I see. And the large bag?”

Ex- “We’re going to put you in it before we throw you off the cliff.”

EFMR- “Oh, dear. [looks down] But if I survive, I’m spared, right?”

Ex- “No dice, pal. Ya’see that tree down there?”

EFMR- “Uh-huh.”

Ex- “If you survive, we hang your mangled body on it.”

EFMR- [pause] “So, um, why all the baseball bats?”

Ex- “Just shut up and get in the bag asshole.”

EFMR- “But it smells horrible.”

Ex- “Yeah, well that’s what happens when a bunch of angry, drunken men take a crap in a bag. Unavoidable I’m afraid. Now shut up and get in the goddamn bag.”

EFMR- [gets in bag] But it’s so dark in here...” [twack] “...Ouch!”

Ex- “Now you know what the bats are for stupid. So keep your mouth shut while we push you over the edge.”

EFMR- “But don’t I get to make a last statement?” [twack] “...Ouch!”

Ex- “What part of ‘shut the fuck up’ don't you understand asshole? Now come on boys, on three. One... Two... ”

Sounds like sweet justice to me. There are some crimes, like child murders, which are just too horrible for conventional punishments. I think some inventive punishments like this are just what evil slime, like whoever killed the Runnion girl, deserve.

More Moroccan-Spanish Fun

Damian Penny links to a good Toronto Star Article on yesterday's Spanish seizing of the Perejil islet. Good backround and perspective as well.

And, as usual, for all your Spanish blogging needs, go visit John and Antonio at Iberian Notes.

The Spanish Are Coming!

The UK Telegraph is reporting that the Spanish retook the island of Perejil from Morocco in a commando raid last night. It was apparently a bloodless operation. This had been coming since the Moroccans seized the uninhabited island, very is both near British Gibraltar and a mere 200 yards from the Moroccan Coast (see this BBC story for a map of the area) last Thursday the 11th.

The Moroccans are claiming, “This is equivalent to a declaration of war." No word yet if they’re planning any retaliatory action. It’s becoming a big Nationalist deal now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the last we hear about it.

What I found most interesting, though, was the last two sentences of the story:

The European Union, which had denounced Morocco's violation of Spanish territory, pointedly did not back Spain's action.

Romano Prodi, the president of the EU Commission, said: "We attach great importance to the relationship between Spain and Morocco and are willing to facilitate that dialogue."

Now it sounds to me like the Spaniards have the better claim to the island, and the EU knows it (although you can certainly understand the Moroccans' fear of a foreign base yards from their shoreline). If the Spanish are in the right here, which the EU claimed earlier, why aren’t they willing, not only to back the Spanish move, but to send in ships to support them. What the hell kind of union is this? (it should be noted, of course, that the Telegraph isn’t the most EU-friendly paper in the UK)

Doing Some Things Right

Pejman Yousefzadeh links to this Christian Science Monitor article on the Voice of America's Arabic Radio Sawa service, aimed at a young audience. I'm glad to see we're finally getting the propaganda machine going, and hopefully this'll lighten those kids up. But we need to do use more of Madison Avenue's might to win friends and influence people around the world.

The 'titties and beer' culture, that we all love here in the land of the free (at least I do), is a powerful force. Just ask the frogs who, despite their best efforts, are losing the culture war. I've said it before, Baywatch is increadibly vile, but also amazingly infective in foreign lands. I don't understand it, but it works, so go with it.

If our propaganda says one thing, it should be "we're better than your islamo-freak rulers. We let you drink and look at Pamela Anderson's boobs. Come join the fun!"

We go with that and there won't be a single fundamentalist regime in the Middle East in 10 years.

Rejoice!

Ken Layne is back and blogging (and back on my permalinks list). And here I thought the guy was being hunted by narco-terrorists for sport. Good news I say.

Introducing: The New Guy

What with Instapundit's vacation, Vodkapundit's impending nuptials, and Welch and Layne's hiatus, this little corner of the blogosphere needs all the new activity it can get. Since I am but one man, I can only do so much. However, I'm pleased to announce that I've recruited my former college roommate, drinking buddy, and comrade in arms, Commander Cornflake, to assist me on the site. He's another smart monkey, and will hopefully keep me in line. Expect his first post within the next couple of days.

He's fairly new to the whole blog thing, so don't beat him up to badly. At least for the first few weeks… or days… or maybe just that first post. Nah, forget it. Go ahead and tear into him. He can take it!

* Note to any female readers: I told him the Blogosphere was a magnificent land of fame and fortune. And, well, he's expecting groupies. So help keep him encouraged with hot steamy funk-love comments and emails. It would feed his ego, which would probably make him post more, and would also make his lovely girlfriend super jealous, which I, being a big jerk, would find most entertaining. And y'know, now that I'm thinking about it, I could use some of that sweet "encouragement" action as well… [begin lecherous chuckling]heh-heh-heh…[end lecherous chuckling]

Frog Bashing as Art

Just to show Jonah Goldberg doesn't usually piss me off, here's a link to his latest, French-bashing article. This one is up there with his Red Dawn column. A brief excerpt:

So the question remains: Why is French-hating so popular today? It's not like they've denied us fly-over rights recently. We haven't had to liberate Paris again (yet). French forces haven't fired on us like they did during Operation Torch in North Africa. They haven't stuck us with Vietnam, or propped up Carrot Top's career the way they kept Jerry Lewis going all those years. And yet, if Major League Baseball goes on strike, smacking frogs with heavy sticks may finally become the national pastime, as God no doubt intended.

New Bases on The Red Sea?

StrategyPage mentions this DEBKA report (sorry no permalink, you'll have to scroll down) on a new US island base being built off the coast of Eritrea. It'll give us an alternative command and staging base to the Saudi's Prince Sultan airbase, which we'll need for the attack on Iraq since the Saudis won't let us use their bases. It also gives us a nice position to watch Sudan from.

Eritrea want's to be our friend, so they're all for it. As an added bonus, the base should serve to insure stability on the Eritrean-Ethiopian border, the site of 1998's bloody and pointless war between the two countries.

New friends for us at a time when we could use them, stability and security (and aid money) for them. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

A Little More on The Northwest Connection

The Seattle Times gave us a few more details over the weekend on where information on possible Seattle-based al-Qaida supporters came from. Apparently, a Taliban fighter (and a Britsh citizen) being held in Guantanamo Bay, has linked several members of the former Dar-us-Salaam mosque in Seattle with the now infamous North London Central Mosque. This is the same mosque where Zacharias “20th hijacker” Moussaoui, and Richard “shoebomber” Reid, had visited at various times in the last few years.

I wonder what else the CIA has gotten out of the GitMo prisoners?

Making Sense in the UK

The Telegraph launched what it calls the "Free Country" campaign last year, calling for an end to Parliament’s (or Brussels' or the UN's) constant intrusion on personal liberty. Considering the UK government's plan to restrict trial by jury and other rights, this seems a good time to stand up for your civil liberties.

If only a few of our major dailies could have such a strong and principled editorial position. We need critics in the media who oppose threats to our liberty for firm idealistic reasons, and not just because they hate the Bush Administration in general and John Ashcroft in particular (NY Times, I’m looking in your direction). With a war on, ancient and modern rights are under threat throughout the Anglosphere, and it’s up to the lot of us to make sure we keep what we’ve got. As the Telegraph’s Charles Moore says in his introduction, “...There's plenty to do. Libertad o muerte!”

More Steyn Now

The latest Mark Steyn column on the Spectator site (link via the fine folks at Middle East Realities) responds to Matthew Parris' column bemoaning american power, and reminds us why Euro-diplomacy is so useless. As usual, good stuff.

Chairman Mao Would be Pissing Himself in Anticipation

Drudge links to a brief Times of India story on the Chinese manned space flight program. According to the article, the Pentagon, in its annual repot on the Chinese military (for a more general overview of the report, see this Washington Times article), predicts that China will attempt a manned launch within the next two years. It also briefly discusses the emerging Chinese anti-satellite capability. This isn't a groundbreaking story, as the Chinese space program has been building up for years, but continuing reports of China's military buildup are starting to convince me that we need to start worrying about the Peoples Liberation Army sooner rather than lat