Music Review: Reverend Horton Heat — Lucky 7

The Reverend Horton Heat is one of rock's finest performers and showmen. He and his band are truly impressive, and, trust me, if you haven't seen the Rev live, you haven't lived. What I really love about the band, however, is their ability to capture that energy of the live performances and pressing them onto their CDs. The Reverend's albums have become cleaner and more refined as time goes by, but the energy is still there.

Lucky 7 is probably the band's best since the 1994's near-perfect Liquor In The Front, which was one of the theme album for my drunken college experience. Over the last several years, the good Reverend has toned down the psycho from his psycho-billy act, and replaced the punk sounds with solid rock-a-billy and honky-tonk, which has produced several decent to good albums, but nothing truly outstanding. His last album Spend A Night In The Box was technically outstanding, but, aside from the title track, it completely failed to hook me.

The new album has all the technical excellence of the last, and much of the same sounds. Where it differs, is in the quality of the songs, which are excellent and classic Reverend. All the songs are good, but a few stand out. The album begins with Loco Gringos Like A Party, an anthem for the kind of drunken debauchery we all try to so very hard to take part in. It ends with an epic ode to the Rev's bassist Jimbo Wallace in the full on gospel You've Got A Friend In Jimbo (he's got a six pack of goodwill and joy to share). Hallelujah. My favorite, though, is the catchy Galaxy 500, a car and woman song which harkens back to the old RHH albums of the early 90's and has quickly become one of my favorite Rev songs ever.

If you're not all that familiar with the Reverend 's good word (you poor bastard), Lucky 7 isn't a bad place to jump in. If you're already a member of the congregation, well, you should get the damn album already.

*note*
It looks like I'll be a part of Eric Olsen's Blogcritics project, so these reviews things will probably be more common than I previously thought.

What Was I Saying, Jesse?

Speak of the Devil, just as I was warning about the dangers of Jesse Jackson's Mideast Tour, we get a new bombing at an Israeli university. 7 dead, including two Americans, and it looked like the bomber was targeting foreigners.

And who do you suppose was behind the attack? None other than Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, and the rest of his fucks at Hamas.

Jesse Jackson, being the oh-so smart guy he is, has decided to cancel his visit with Yassin, and instead is gorging himself on baby wipes over at Arafat's place.

*UPDATE* The American death toll is up to 5 a day later.

The Ramallah Reverend?

As Ian noted over at the Highway a couple of days ago, and Ha'aretz reminds us today, Jesse Jackson is over in the Holy Land, urinating on the smoldering remains of his credability. First he gave Yassir a hearty handshake, instead of the sound ass-kicking he deserves, and now he's about to do something truly vile; he's going to meet with Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, head of Hamas.

To say this is mindlessly irresponsible or totally indefensible is understating the case by several orders of magnitude. Hamas is a terrorist organization. Even Powell’s State Department recognizes the thuggish murderers for what they are, and we all know how difficult it is for them to see a clear and present danger. Hamas is one of those groups burning old glory and screaming “death to America” at full volume. They hate us as much as Israel.

For me, Jackson’s meeting with Yassin is a mere step or two away from Hanoi-Jane style aid and comfort. The propaganda value he gives Hamas simply by meeting with them will cost Israeli and Palestinian lives, and might even kill an American or two one day.

Yeah, that Jackson's a real pillar of the community. That is, if the pillar is shaped like a big fat dong.

But Sarge, My Rifle Smells Like Fish

StrategyPage has some news for you China watchers out there. It looks like the PLA is working on a way to overcome its lack of naval transport:

With the growing Chinese military capability again in the news, a February 1, 2002 article in the Beijing "Jianchuan Zhishi" on organizing fishing vessels for sea-crossing operations is worth examining. The Chinese admit that their conventional amphibious assets are insufficient to support any serious moves, so they have plan to muster 200 to 250 fishing ships (each over 50 tons and carrying a platoon or squad).

The Chinese claim once the system is setup they'll have about 50 of these armed fishing fleets, each capable of moving a division of infantry (that's about 400,000 troops alltogether). They'll still rely on their military transports for heavy equipment and artillery.

I certainly can't see this having much chance of working against Taiwan without the Chinese gaining complete naval and air dominance of the Taiwan strait. With the pathetic state of the PLA air force and a navy that isn’t much better, that dominance just ain’t gonna happen any time soon.

I Love My Google Hits

So, I check my referrer logs every now and then, and I very infrequently get search engine hits. This is partially because the new site hasn’t started getting indexed by Google yet. But when my archives do get hit, it’s usually, um, interesting.

Sure, there are occasionally reasonable searches, like a query for info on Phil Donahue’s new MSNBC show, and I got a ton from the whole George Michael fiasco (especially from Europeans) but the rest... Geesh, I’ll just give you some examples, starting tame and going downhill.

First off we’ve got the rapid Asparagirl fans:

aparagirl+pic (resulting archive hit)

At first I thought we had a dangerous stalker on our hand, but it’s not that bad, as I think somewhere on her site A-girl tells people, if they’re all that interested, to do a search for her pic. I get these hits all the time, and I'm afraid they don't find what they’re looking for.

Next, we move from devoted blogger worshippers (where can I get one or two of those?), to those with slightly more disturbing fetishes:

passed+out+girls (resulting archive hit)

Now this poor, sick, bastard was just looking for some deviant pornography, and what does he get instead? A drunken Mojo rant about how much I hate rapists, where I’m pointing my accusative finger directly at him. I guess this wouldn’t creep me out as much if it wasn’t so common. I sometimes get 10 or 15 hits a week from this search. Today’s example comes from the French version of Google. So, how does one say “pathetic fuck” in Francaise?

My favorite so far comes via the UK Google

blowjob+machine (resulting archive hit)

Now this one links to one of my slanderous screeds against the cable news networks. I can only imagine what this person was actually searching for, but I (and I think most men) wish him luck on his quest to find it. Especially if it comes standard with beer-can holders. We salute you in your research sir.

These past examples have all offered various degrees of kink and psychosis, but the last one takes it to a whole new level:

dominant+mommy+piss+stories (resulting archive hit)

Wow. I mean, it’s got it all. S&M, incest, urine. What more could a super-freak want.

Now, I’m not one to generally cast stones on a person’s reading material (I usually have much better reasons to throw shit), but WTF? The person who searched for this has got to be the most fucked up individuals to ever visit this site, and that’s saying something. I don’t know how Google could have mangled one of my archive pages enough for it to return my site as a relevant match.

What the hell is wrong with someone who not only wants incestuous golden shower domination porn, but wants it in literary erotica form, so they can take their sweet time visualizing it? As always, I think the only proper response is to find a lead pipe.

So I'm curious, have any of my blogging brethren had any interesting referrer hits you’d like to share with the class?

*Update* It looks like Dr. Frank has a pretty good list going as well...

Holy Floral Arrangements Batman!

Go check out the picture of this cool 6 Acre flower flag over at LAP.

I Always Figured I'd Be The One In The Mask

Link via Jen Rajkowski:

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

You made it through the flick, but, um, it's not a pretty picture. You're the bloody heap in the corner who everyone thought was dead until you stumble into the hero's arms after the bad guy bites it (think Jamie Kennedy in Scream). You are a smart and fiesty person, but you're also a little reckless and you tend to put yourself in awkward positions -without a good weapon. But even though you get sliced up a bit, you get to survive and that's all that matters. Who needs all those toes, ears, and arms you'll be missing by the end of the flick anyway?

Uh, right... Why can't I just get a large caliber handgun to work with? I mean, come on!

More Music Reviews

OK guys, continuing from my last music review post, I’ve been on a CD buying spree over the past week, so now I’ll share my opinions on my recent purchases.

The Swedish Invasion

First, I’ll discuss Veni, Vedi, Vicious, from Swedish Rockers, The Hives. As the title suggests, the band’s second American LP has some of that Sex Pistols sound, but if I had to pin it down, I’d say the band really seems more of an unholy coupling between the Ramones and The Rolling Stones. Its spastic, three chord punk rock builds on top of 60’s pop-rock song construction. Like other recent old school rock revivalists (The White Stripes or Strokes for instance), The Hives have a raw sound and don’t use (or need) a lot of studio cleanup. To quote one old, junky, crotch-goblin, “It’s only Rock and Roll, but I like it.”

The album is fairly tight, with not much in the way of filler. It’s full of potential singles, but particularly memorable are Die, All Right, Main Offender, Hate to Say I Told You So, and Supply And Demand. The only weak-point I can see, is that aside from one song, everything sounds fairly similar. However, it’s a good enough sound that you shouldn’t mind. And of course, being Swedish Punk-Rockers, the lyrics are not the strongest. Consider their wailing against the evils of Capitalism in Die, All Right:

Hey! I've got a message and tonight I'm gonna send it.
Yeah! I had a body, men with knives wanted to lend it.
Sold my body to the company so I got the money now away I go Thank you Mr. CEO.

See what I mean. But lead singer Pelle Alqvist’s distinctive rendition of this sub-par poetry caps the three chord goodness of the rest of the band.

The charming faux cocky foreigners "we are you're new favorite band" sthick, although appealing, has been done better by masters of the apporach, the infamous and much beloved Red Elvises (who may, in fact, be my favorite band).

The album is short, though, with twelve tracks that average at about 2:15 a piece, but like most good punk-y bands, it’s a fast burning flame that burns twice as bright.

One of the benefits of the short album time is the video files included on the computer-enhanced part of the CD. Instead of the normal crappy low-res Quicktime files you normally get on an enhanced CD, I’m given large, good quality, platform-independent Mpeg files. Which is nice, as the quasi-cartoon video for Main Offender is one of the coolest I’ve seen in quite some time.

Overall it’s a pretty damn good album. Although, with their recent MTV success, they certainly don’t need any help from me, I still give ‘em the ol’ thumbs up.

Of Sealabs and Trampolines

For my next bit of wondrous reviewing, I’m going to talk about the 1999 self-titled debut EP for the Band Calamine. The New York Band’s six-song album is really some well crafted indy-pop. I admit, I’m a sucker for chick-fronted indy rock, and this is a fine example of the genre. I’m sure this would make Frank Black roll over in his grave, but I don’t care, he was a dirty cock-holster anyways (Whaddya mean he’s not dead?). Which is funny, because Calamine and the Pixies with Kim Deal singing have a few similarities in sound.

Calamine, is (or was, I’m not sure if the band is now defunct their only album is three years old) fronted by Julie Stepanek, based in New York, and did the catchy theme song for Cartoon Network's Sealab 2021 (which is a hilarious show, by the way). The band’s sound is mostly mellow, but layered guitar and bass mix with Stepanek’s sometimes girly, sometimes manic voice and harmonize with guitarist Dan Crane’s backup vocals to produce some sweet-ass songs.

The six songs are all good, and no filler is involved. Aside from the ever-present vocals of Stepanek, each song has a unique sound. My personal favorite is the nostalgic, slow-paced Trampoline (when I’m in one of my nostalgic, non-drunken-rage moments), although cases could easily be made for the more forceful Repulsion, or the short and catchy Horse and Carriage.

Best of all, three of their songs are available for download on the band’s website. So, go my friends. Download, listen, and let me know what you think about these guys.

Well, that’s enough reviewing for now. I’ll have more soon, including the latest Reverend Horton Heat and Dressy Bessy albums.

Aw, And I Was All Stocked Up On Ammo And Baked Beans

The Dow, Nasdaq, and S&P are up more than 5%. So, I guess civilisation is not doomed after all. Well, who knows what's going to spook investors next. The mysterious irrational fears are temporarily soothed.

So my question is, at what point did the market become dominated by hysterical pansies, and when did we agree to make the “psychology” of the market more important than profits or losses?

Every time I see one of these big fluctuations, and the media reaction to it, I’m reminded of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes:

Kent Brockman: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?

Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.

Ticking Clocks And Carbon Rods

Ian over at Fierce Highway reminds us why time is not on our side in regards to regime change in Iran:

There has been some growing conversation about the possibility that Iran may be experiencing some serious internal upheaval. Obviously, it would be a terrific development if there was an uprising against the repressive government of Iran, and a push for a more democratic state gained traction.

One of the larger problems I see, though, is that the time is running out for it to be a successful one. If there isn't a major effort mounted in the next two to three years, any opposition movements may suffer a setback from which it will take decades to recover.

The setback would come in the form of a nuclear reactor plant coming online in Bushehr. Iran's plant is already proposing tests, and could be ready for operation in under three years. And with the event of a nuclear power base, I fear that the current pseudo-religious regime in Iran would be given more grudging legitimacy and presense in international diplomacy.

He's right of course. Go read the rest.

When Did He start Writing For The Weekly Standard?

P.J. O'Rourke gives us his opinions on the rash of corporate accounting scandals (via Daily Pundit). As usual, hilarity ensues:

Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats--thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. Democrats are an important part of the Washington ecosystem. Extinction of Democrats would lead to serious disruption in the food chain. We of the bloodthirsty right-wing press would be forced to rely for our prey solely on John McCain.

And there's more. Suddenly our kids think we're hip. "Gangsta Rap" is very popular with today's teens, as is dressing in prison garb and acting and speaking as if one belonged to the Crips, the Bloods, or some other criminal organization. The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, "We be thugs." The GOP may capture the youth vote at last.

I can just picture the election night young Republicans meeting. Angry looking pasty young men wearing weaing a suit, tie, and beanie hat, drinking 40's and shouting "G-O-P Bi-zatch!" Suddenly they pull out their glocks and start busting caps, "Yeah bitch, we takin' the Hiz-ouse!"

I think it might work. I really do.

How Many Made It Out?

For the record, I thought all those miners were dead for sure...

Any bets on how long it takes for the made-for-TV movie to come out?

Just Not Getting It

Ok, I was just starting to forgive the man for forgetting what the definition of "is" is (among other things), but now he's forgotten what "ex" means, as in "ex-president." Yes, Bill Clinton is back on the scene, and under the impression that someone cares what he thinks:

On the Middle East, Mr Clinton said Mr Bush had mistakenly disengaged from the region. He praised Colin Powell, which will do the US Secretary of State little good in a White House where some suspect he is a closet Democrat.

"I think it was a mistake to get out for a year," Mr Clinton said. "The important thing is, right now, that they be involved. I always thought that Secretary Powell wanted to do that."

Now, I've tried not to rag too much on the Clinton administration's negligence with regards to Al-Qaeda. There is something to be said for the “we didn’t actually think they would actually try something like 9-11.” Such an attack was obviously suicidal to any organization that tried it. Deterrence had worked for the past 50 years.

However, we underestimated our enemies as much as they underestimated us. I can almost forgive the Clinton administration for not believing in the threat. The events of September 11 would seem far-fetched to any of us if someone warned us of the attack in August of ’01.

I can also look beyond the fact that, during Clinton’s Presidency, our naval sea-transport capability was reduced to practically zilch. I mean, hell, that’s just what Democrats do, isn’t it?

The Middle East is a different matter. Clinton’s statements are not only hypocritical, but irresponsible and vile. Clinton is responsible for continually strengthening the thuggish regime of Yassir Arafat, while weakening America’s long-time ally, Israel. The Oslo Accords didn’t provide a framework for peace, they provided Arafat and his friends in Hamas a chance to purchase guns and ammunition. Arafat doesn’t want peace. He, and his henchmen, have made that sufficiently clear. Continued negotiations with the Palestinian Authority just gives them more cover to plan bombings against civilians.

There are no, potential “Peace Partners” in any level of Palestinian society. There are only combatants who see that terrorism gets results. At every point, Clinton, and the Department of State, tried desperately to appease a dictatorial and dangerously violent regime, and now we’re left with a people who overwhelmingly support suicide-bombing civilians as a legitimate political act. That is the legacy of Clinton’s policy, and anyone who would listen to his advice on foreign policy after the events of the last year is beyond stupid.

More Weezer Dorkdom

Which Weezer Song are You?

Busy...

Blogging will be light (er, lighter than the normally light blogging that is) over the next day or two. Steven Baxter's Manifold Origins finally arrived in the mail from Amazon, so I want to tear through it.

I Need to Go See It

So how's this for an endorsment? Both the MojoMom and MojoKidSister give the latest Austin Powers movie a hearty thumbs-up. I don't know wheither this is a sign of the end-times or just a really funny movie, but I'm desperately curious...

Oh, and how's this for my spy profile:

Captain "Dauntless" Mojo
You have eluded capture, killed the assassin, reclaimed the family jewels and are now confronted with 100 armed men and no visible means of escape. Are you kidding? You live for these scenarios and always manage to escape.

Vital Gear
Includes a loyal sidekick to help you escape, crazy glue, and making sure the bad guys attack one at a time.

Yeah, Baby! (bet ya didn't see that one coming)

Useful New Feature Alert!

Tired of slogging through the CaptainMojo archives? Looking for that story you casually came upon sometime last month, but can’t remember which day it was? Well, I’ve had enough of it, and I’m not going to take it anymore!

That’s right friends, if you’ll kindly turn your attention to the left of the page, right beneath the Blogroll, you’ll see the new search utility. It’s very powerful, so only use it for good, not evil.

Through testing it, I’ve learned I use the word “Ass” far too often...

Hello, 1992? Yes, We've Found Your Headline.

"Saddam 'seeking nuclear arms'" is the headline for this UK Telegraph article about a recent Tony Blair Interview. So, to whom, outside of a Chomskyite circle-jerk, is this actually news?

BIG ROCK

Through the Nando Times , NASA reports that a mile-long asteroid, called 2002 NT7, could strike the Earth on February 1, 2019. NASA isn't too worried: they estimate only a 1 in 250,000 chance of Earth impact.

I, however, am not easily mollified by such numbers. I have been to Las Vegas with Captain Mojo: his bad luck could kill us all. 1 in 250,00 is nothing to him. I honestly believe that he could play the lottery with reverse odds and lose. As much as I love to play poker against him, I do not want to be on this planet in 2019 if he’s still here.

In all seriousness, though, a mile-long asteroid moving 50 km/s on Earth-intercept is a big deal. 1.2 million megatons of energy released is as much as 6,000 Krakatoas. On the bright side, it’s estimated that the KT impactor (the dinosaur killer) was 10 miles wide, so NT7 is an order of magnitude smaller than the KT hammer. Still, 6,000 Krakatoas all at once would be decidedly unpleasant.

NASA says that they will have a much better idea where NT7 is going after they’ve watched it for a year. So, if, in a year, we realize this thing is actually coming down the pipe, what would we do to stop it? We would have fifteen years to figure something out: could we deflect it or break it up in time?

More on The Northwest Connection

The Denver Post brings us more information on James Ujaama (via World Wide Rant), a Seattle resident who was arrested monday in Colorado as a material witness in relation to possible Al-Quada activities in the US. Semi Osman's Seattle-based group is accused of assisting Al-Quada and the Taliban, and planning a training base in rural Oregon.

Despite obivous connections between the Osman group (with links to the same London mosque connected with Zacharias Moussaoui and Richard Reid) and Ujaama, local politicians refuse to see a connection:

Community leaders in Seattle defended both Ujaama brothers. King County Executive Ron Sims, the elected head of Washington's largest county, said he "strongly doubted" they are terrorists. Sims said he was surprised by the arrest but hadn't talked with the Ujaamas for several years.

For the record, no candidate I've ever voted for in local elections has won. Ever. So don't blame me...

Music Reviews, You Can Use

Here we go on a new feature at CaptainMojo.com. I’ll post reviews on new CDs that I buy, for the benefit of you, my beloved reader. Here we go…

I just bought the new Weezer CD, almost solely on the strength of the video for their new single, Keep Fishing (the video features the Muppets, and anything featuring the Jim Henson seal is warmly regarded in Mojo-land). I’ve been a Weezer fan since their masterwork, Pinkerton, came out in ’96. And as with most Weezer fans, I waited many years for Rivers Cuomo’s sequel in 2001’s Green Album. The wait, for me at least, was somewhat, in vain, as the new album had a few good singles, packaged with mediocre to decent filler. GA was listenable, but lacked the real meaty claws that made the band’s first two offerings so sweet.

Well, Maladroit, I’m afraid, is an obvious continuation of the last album’s path to so-so-ness. Keep Fishing is probably the winner of the album, but I can’t see what the second single is gonna be. The rest of the album strikes me as just average Emo stuff. Being Weezer, it’s still decent, but completely unremarkable. If you’re expecting a return to the popish tunes of Pinkerton or their 1994 self-titled debut, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.

On another purchase, I have nothing but praise for Neutral Milk Hotel’s 1998 In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Not being a hip person, I’d only heard a few Neutral Milk Hotel songs before purchasing the album a few days ago. Headed by Jeff Magnum, and linked in some mysterious and transcendental ways with Indy Pop greats Apples In Stereo and Olivia Tremor Control, the band mixes an Indy sound with a folksy soul.

Although the album can drag in spots, songs such as Two Headed Boy, Holland 1945, and Communist Daughter provide solid listening goodness. Mojo Recommended.

Why I Love The USA

…Part 3 of a continuing series…

Tonight, I’m pondering the greatness of our culture’s public houses. I can randomly walk into any of the many local pubs or taverns, nearly abandoned on a weeknight such as tonight, and order a pint (a pint, and not a "half-litre" dammit) of something dark and lovely. Following this, I can be entertained by a lone guitarist on stage, 50-something in age, singing gentle love songs of his own devising, followed by an acoustic cover of AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap. Sweet.

Life in our great civilization can be downright pleasant at times.

A Few Acres of Sovereign US Territory, In The Persian Gulf

StrategyPage links to this USA Today article, which mentions the possibility of using a carrier, or converting another ship, for permanent use as a floating Special Forces platform (as the Kitty Hawk was used in Afghanistan). I’ve read about this idea, a sort of Super Amphibious Assault Ship, before, and it seems like it’s going to go ahead in one form or another. Which is good.

I think the converted carrier idea, although more expensive, is by far the best idea. We need a fast ship capable of storing lots of troops. A converted transport just won’t be as effective in getting to hot spots in a hurry. Plus, having an extra carrier around that can be easily re-converted for air operations will almost certainly come in handy.

The Constellation’s a fine ship (my Pa served on her back in the 60’s, and I’ve been on board a few times during her port calls to Seattle), and I’d hate to see her retired in ’03 when she’s got a perfectly good use. Sure, it’s more expensive than taking some junky freighter and popping a flight deck on top of it, but keeping a Super-Carrier afloat and operational gives the Navy a flexibility no other ship can provide.

P.R. Nightmare

I knew that the Israeli strike on a house in a residential section of Gaza was going to be bad press, and Damian Penny brings us proof:

And he links to this transcript of CNN’s Newsnight, where Daniel Pipes somewhat tries to defend the attacks.

At least they killed the guy they were after.

It doesn't really matter. Those who already oppose Israel don't really need evidence for their hatred, and those who back Israel have chosen their horse. Everyone in the middle just sees more monkeys throwing poop at each other.

As for me, I lost the last ounce of sympathy I had for the Palestinians a while ago. It’s a little late to be bitching about civilian casualties now guys...

Guns, and Warplanes, and Hackers, Oh My!

More on the “Millennium Challenge 2002,” (via Drudge) that big training exercise that I mentioned earlier. It involves an even broader field of action than I had previously thought, including a second headquarters in Suffolk Virginia, as well as attempts to hack into comm systems and Unmanned vehicles. A major focus will be avoiding friendly fire.

13,500 troops involved, and a quarter billion dollar price-tag, I hope it sharpens the ol’ sword some before we head into Iraq.

Well, She Was Pretty Young at The Time, I Guess.

News from the Telegraph that assassinated Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn’s party has taken its first hit, as Philomena Biljhoult, the Fortuyn party’s Minister for Emancipation and Family Affairs, has resigned. She was linked to the 1980s Suriname Military of Desi Bouterse, which killed 15 in 1982.

The Fortuyn party is an insanely eclectic party, and it’s just a matter of time until the whole thing blows up...

This Just Seems Wrong...

Via Pejman.

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

The big ol' head makes sense (I do have a giant, bulbous head), but what's with this nice guy stuff? I think not.

Babysitting The New Prez

So Afghanistan's President Hamid Karzai no longer feels he can trust Afghan bodyguards to protect him. What does that mean? Well, if you can't trust your own people, bring in Americans!

This is a bad sign on so many levels. The Afghan “government” is not much more stable than it was in December. Assassinations and power grabs are happening all over the place. American soldiers as Karzai’s personal bodyguard just reeks of propping up a dying government, which I guess is because that’s exactly what it is. However, as the Time piece suggests, there’s no better alternatives.

It strikes a disturbing historical chord with me, as I envision Roman Legions propping up petty Celtic kingdoms in the 1st and 2nd centuries.

Although, now that I think about it, things worked out pretty well for them (aside from that nasty Boudicca business). Roman Britain had nearly four centuries of peace and prosperity, which was only really ended by the arrival of my good friends Hengest and Horsa in the mid 5th century.

Israelis Strike Gaza

It looks like Israel is taking the fight against Hamas to the Gaza Strip. IDF F-16s bombed a house in Gaza city, targeting Shehadeh, a Hamas bigwig.

The U.N. has already condemned the attack (surprise). There's going to be all sorts of bad PR as well, since the house was in a residential neighborhood with western cameramen all over the place.

Well, Ya Don't say...

So who settled the Perejil islet ruckus between Spain and Morocco? Was it the ever patient, diplomatic, pacifist, EU, or the reckless war-mongering cowboy Americans? If you said the EU, you’re probably a big Jerry Lewis fan, but you’re also wrong (UK Telegraph story). Now to be fair, the EUnochs did try to play fair mediator in the whole affair, which would be great if Spain wasn’t a freaking EU member!

EU officials were even more disturbed by France's decision to block a statement supporting Spain at a closed-door meeting of EU ambassadors last Wednesday, effectively turning against a fellow member in a crisis.

The French deny taking the Moroccans' side at a key moment in the dispute, but the move was viewed in Brussels as a treacherous act. It evoked memories of Belgium's refusal to sell ammunition to Britain during the Gulf war.

The effect was to cause Spain to turn its back on Brussels and look to the Bush administration in Washington as a more dependable ally in finding a way out of the impasse.

Oh no, the EU isn’t completely powerless in world affairs. Not at all...

But it's Purple!

Den Beste has another post discussing honest benchmarks and Apple's "Megahertz Myth" propaganda campaign. Summary: on an open benchmark a state of the art PC will consistently outperform the top of the line PPC. The x86 hardware is just more advanced, because there's actual competition in the marketplace, in memory, motherboards, and CPUs. Apple has Motorola for the chips, and that's it. The AMD-Intel competition has meant good, good things for the PC.

More on That Can't Judge a Book by It's Cover Stuff

Asia Carrera: Porn star. Entrepreneur. Video game dork with genius-level IQ.

I was just dorking out watching a show on G4tv (a cable network devoted to video games) before bed, and what should I see, but an interview with porn star Asia Carrera. She is apparently a complete video gaming freak, and has built her own site where she serves up player models and skins. Jebus! She’s a worse gaming dork than I was in high school, and that’s saying something! (Heh, beer is difficult to get when you're that young, and chicks even more so. A fella's got to do something with his time. I grew outta it. Well, mostly...)

It’s very weird to actually listen to her talk, as she sounds like a bunch of geek girls I’ve known in my days. Also, she’s said to have an IQ that hovers around 150. Ya learn somthin’ new every day, I guess.

NOTE: Yes, having just written a post that combines both porn stars and video games, I am now officially a big, fat LOSER^TM. There is no redemption at this point, all is lost.

Now Where are Those Pesky Romanoffs?

Which Soviet Leader are you? go to:the quiz!

So, like, do I get put on public display when I croak? That would be cool...

Airbone Lasers Are Cool

Another noteworthy item linked from StrategyPage, is this CNN story on the first flight of The Airborne Laser, which I mentioned in an earlier post. The modified 747 will be an immensely valuable tool in future missile defense strategies.

UPDATE: Yes, its Airbone. That's not a drunken typo. It's a colorful description of what the laser does to its target, a nickname given to it by a secret cabal of laser weapon technicians.

Ugh, I really need to proofread this shit when I'm sober…

StrategyPage Goodness

According to StrategyPage, the British Navy has apparently determined that its ships are vulnerable to attack from swarms of smaller, suicide, boats:

…The problem is there are just not enough weapons to deal with that many small, maneuverable targets at close range. The short-term plan is to equip the anti-missile guns with an electro-optical site for anti-surface work, but it may be necessary to provide the ships with a dozen infantry-type heavy machineguns that could be pulled out of storage and mounted on deck stanchions if a threat presents itself…

I know most US ships have at least a small Marine detachment armed, with light infantry weapons, but is this enough to stop 10 or more small craft intent on pulling a splodydope? And will we see the addition of smaller caliber anti-personnel cannon and machine guns as standard gear on new or refitted ships?

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE SECOND LAW

There is some noise in the blogosphere right now about possible violations of the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Reported violations of the laws of thermodynamics are as old as the laws themselves, and the vast majority are easily discreditable, but this particular story is both interesting and informative.

An eye-catching summary of the recent research can be found at the BBC website. Unfortunately, the article is more sensational than it is accurate. Any science piece that begins with "One of the most important principles of physics... has been shown to be untrue" should be taken with a good-sized grain of salt (or a good stiff drink, if it really is one of those millennial discoveries in question).

So, drink or salt? In a rare case for me, I must caution against a preemptory drink. Steven Den Beste covers the case pretty soundly: this experiment implies some small refinement of understood laws, and not a revolution in physics as we understand it. His commentary on both the second law and the experiment itself should help any bloggers out there to understand the nature of the discussion.

A research team in the Chemistry dept. at ANU (Australian National University) ran an experiment in which they electrically charged 100 tiny beads and shook them up (1000 shakes a second) in a water-filled container. After they observed and analyzed the behavior of the beads, they found that for short periods of time (<.1 seconds) the system of beads sometimes lost entropy (became more ordered), instead of gaining entropy (becoming more chaotic). This is an apparent violation of the Second Law.

Steven makes the point that this experiment does not even meet the conditions for the second law to be applicable. He points out that the energy entering the system through the laser at the beginning of the experiment demonstrates that the system in question is not closed.

Although this is a valid point, I think that it is worthwhile to point out one thing: there are no closed systems. Except perhaps the universe itself (and even that's up in the air, depending on which parts of Hawking's work you like better). Any exploration of thermodynamics requires aproximations of closed systems, because until we have the technology to create pocket universes, we are never, ever going to create a closed system. In fact, the laws of thermodynamics guarantee that we won't.

The fact that the system is open is not the main reason why this apparent violation is only superficial. The reason that second law violations were in evidence in this experiment is because the system in question is tiny. The BBC article actually mentions a theory which posits that as systems get smaller, their likelihood of showing second law violations increases. This should make intuitive sense, because the second law is statistical, not cause and effect. Because the second law is statistical, it's prediction (that entropy in a closed system [the universe] will increase over time) is much more accurate when the 'sample size' (or number of particles/waves) is very high. However, even huge systems will, by definition, violate the second law very, very infrequently (that's just statistics).

Baghdad by Christmas?

Good news from London (Via StrategyPage). A story in today's Telegraph states that British reservists will begin to be called up in September:

The Ministry of Defence is planning a mass mobilisation of key reservists beginning in September, heightening expectation that the United States and Britain are stepping up preparations for an attack on Iraq.

British troops have also been pulled out of Nato's ACE Mobile Force rapid reaction corps and British involvement in a large number of exercises has been cancelled or scaled down to leave troops ready for the attack on Iraq.

The Prime Minister has strongly backed the idea of a pre-emptive strike on Iraq and refused to commit the Government to a vote in the House of Commons on the deployment of British forces.

This is good news for two reasons:

1. A call for reservists means we've got a plan, and the decision to implement it has been made.
   
2. The British haven't abandoned us. They're the only Europeans who can actually help militarily, and I'll be glad to have at least one of our "allies" actually stand with us for once.

I wonder if the Aussies or Canadians will be contributing any troops or ships?

Like Paintball. Well, Not Really...

Christopher Cross (with appropriate permalink added on the left) brings us word of a massive mock battle that will be taking place next week in California and Nevada. The exercise, titled “The Millennium Challenge 2002,” will involve 13,500 troops from all branches of the Armed Forces. According to the article, the experiment will test the military’s ability to deal with “simulated weapons of mass destruction, urban warfare, the United Nations and humanitarian relief.”

Interesting...

Why Can’t The History Channel Move Out of The Dark Ages?

Ok, so I’m a History Channel junkie. Everyone who knows me knows that. Just ask Cornflake (if the bastard ever starts posting, hint, hint). When we finally got cable installed in our old college apartment, I spent two days straight watching all the History Channel goodness I could get.

Now, I’m tempted to spend all kinds of money buying recordings of their fine historical offerings, and I was especially interested in shows on one of my personal heroes, Davy Crockett. But there’s just one problem: I hate the VHS format. It’s fine for recording shows off the tube, but I refuse to actually buy movies or shows on VHS, which will horribly decay over time. The History Channel in specific, and its parent A&E networks in general, seems to have a tough time selling their wares in the far superior DVD format. I know for a fact it’s not that much more expensive to do (in fact, DVD duplication is physically far cheaper than VHS dubbing, it’s the mastering that’s the pain in the ass).

Don’t they see they’re missing out on my niche market of history buffs with high standards (and I’d pay a premium for that quality), and the old dudes looking to rebuild their VHS collection on the new format? Errrr…..

What do You Think They’re Going to Say Numbnuts?

Ashleigh Banfield of MSNBC is broadcasting from Baghdad. Right now, I’m watching her interview a bunch of common people on the street, and it’s just horrible. These people are constantly saying, “Yes, we love Saddam, the government is good,” all in very good English. I thought Banfield’s Iraqi handlers were giving her plants to interview, but then she asked them “who won the last war, America or Iraq?” They all answered Iraq, which, although ludicrous, is what you’d expect from an Iraqi mouthpiece.

But when you look at their faces when they were saying this, you can see something horrible: fear and dread. These people were desperately thinking about what the right thing to say was. These were not Iraqi plants, they were real people, and obviously afraid of saying something that would bring the secret police knocking. One man simply begged her not to ask questions he “could not answer.” I fear his failure to instantly declare his love of Saddam means he’s probably already dead. Or worse.

The Iraqi government’s purpose in showing these people to the media was to show the west how the Iraqi people were behind their dictator. What they, in fact, showed were a group of people dressed in western clothes, speaking articulate English, and looking terrified of the government official with the clipboard who was standing next to the pretty American (or Canadian in Banfield’s case) reporter. If this ain’t a people who needs liberating, I don’t know who is.

One Advantage to Islamofascism

Yes, the people of Iran are suffering under the burdens of their theocratic government, but at least the clerics are always creating new and interesting ways to execute people (story from Reuters):

Killer, Rapist to Be Thrown Off Cliff in Sack
Thu Jul 18,10:44 AM ET

TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian man, convicted for raping and killing his 16-year-old nephew, will be executed by being thrown off a cliff in a sack, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

If the unnamed man survives the fall down a rocky precipice, he will be hanged, legal experts said. He has 20 days to appeal the court sentence.

The killer was arrested last year in the northwestern city of Mashhad after "seducing" and killing his nephew, who worked as an assistant at the man's carpenter's workshop, the Norouz daily newspaper said.

Under Iran's Islamic law, applied since the 1979 revolution, pederasty, homosexuality and adultery are among a long list of crimes punishable by death.

Now the Iranians are going to be absorbing a lot of American culture while we beam in our propaganda broadcasts in support of a new Iranian revolution, but maybe this is an instance where we can learn something from the clerics.

Just think how useful the sack law would be when we find the bastard who kidnapped and killed 5-year-old Samantha Runnion. We've got some great cliffs up here in the Cascade Mountains we could use. Imagine, if you will:

Evil Fuck Murderer-Rapist- “Why did we just hike all this way?”

Executioner- “We’re going to throw you off this cliff.”

EFMR- “I see. And the large bag?”

Ex- “We’re going to put you in it before we throw you off the cliff.”

EFMR- “Oh, dear. [looks down] But if I survive, I’m spared, right?”

Ex- “No dice, pal. Ya’see that tree down there?”

EFMR- “Uh-huh.”

Ex- “If you survive, we hang your mangled body on it.”

EFMR- [pause] “So, um, why all the baseball bats?”

Ex- “Just shut up and get in the bag asshole.”

EFMR- “But it smells horrible.”

Ex- “Yeah, well that’s what happens when a bunch of angry, drunken men take a crap in a bag. Unavoidable I’m afraid. Now shut up and get in the goddamn bag.”

EFMR- [gets in bag] But it’s so dark in here...” [twack] “...Ouch!”

Ex- “Now you know what the bats are for stupid. So keep your mouth shut while we push you over the edge.”

EFMR- “But don’t I get to make a last statement?” [twack] “...Ouch!”

Ex- “What part of ‘shut the fuck up’ don't you understand asshole? Now come on boys, on three. One... Two... ”

Sounds like sweet justice to me. There are some crimes, like child murders, which are just too horrible for conventional punishments. I think some inventive punishments like this are just what evil slime, like whoever killed the Runnion girl, deserve.

More Moroccan-Spanish Fun

Damian Penny links to a good Toronto Star Article on yesterday's Spanish seizing of the Perejil islet. Good backround and perspective as well.

And, as usual, for all your Spanish blogging needs, go visit John and Antonio at Iberian Notes.

The Spanish Are Coming!

The UK Telegraph is reporting that the Spanish retook the island of Perejil from Morocco in a commando raid last night. It was apparently a bloodless operation. This had been coming since the Moroccans seized the uninhabited island, very is both near British Gibraltar and a mere 200 yards from the Moroccan Coast (see this BBC story for a map of the area) last Thursday the 11th.

The Moroccans are claiming, “This is equivalent to a declaration of war." No word yet if they’re planning any retaliatory action. It’s becoming a big Nationalist deal now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the last we hear about it.

What I found most interesting, though, was the last two sentences of the story:

The European Union, which had denounced Morocco's violation of Spanish territory, pointedly did not back Spain's action.

Romano Prodi, the president of the EU Commission, said: "We attach great importance to the relationship between Spain and Morocco and are willing to facilitate that dialogue."

Now it sounds to me like the Spaniards have the better claim to the island, and the EU knows it (although you can certainly understand the Moroccans' fear of a foreign base yards from their shoreline). If the Spanish are in the right here, which the EU claimed earlier, why aren’t they willing, not only to back the Spanish move, but to send in ships to support them. What the hell kind of union is this? (it should be noted, of course, that the Telegraph isn’t the most EU-friendly paper in the UK)

Doing Some Things Right

Pejman Yousefzadeh links to this Christian Science Monitor article on the Voice of America's Arabic Radio Sawa service, aimed at a young audience. I'm glad to see we're finally getting the propaganda machine going, and hopefully this'll lighten those kids up. But we need to do use more of Madison Avenue's might to win friends and influence people around the world.

The 'titties and beer' culture, that we all love here in the land of the free (at least I do), is a powerful force. Just ask the frogs who, despite their best efforts, are losing the culture war. I've said it before, Baywatch is increadibly vile, but also amazingly infective in foreign lands. I don't understand it, but it works, so go with it.

If our propaganda says one thing, it should be "we're better than your islamo-freak rulers. We let you drink and look at Pamela Anderson's boobs. Come join the fun!"

We go with that and there won't be a single fundamentalist regime in the Middle East in 10 years.

Rejoice!

Ken Layne is back and blogging (and back on my permalinks list). And here I thought the guy was being hunted by narco-terrorists for sport. Good news I say.

Introducing: The New Guy

What with Instapundit's vacation, Vodkapundit's impending nuptials, and Welch and Layne's hiatus, this little corner of the blogosphere needs all the new activity it can get. Since I am but one man, I can only do so much. However, I'm pleased to announce that I've recruited my former college roommate, drinking buddy, and comrade in arms, Commander Cornflake, to assist me on the site. He's another smart monkey, and will hopefully keep me in line. Expect his first post within the next couple of days.

He's fairly new to the whole blog thing, so don't beat him up to badly. At least for the first few weeks… or days… or maybe just that first post. Nah, forget it. Go ahead and tear into him. He can take it!

* Note to any female readers: I told him the Blogosphere was a magnificent land of fame and fortune. And, well, he's expecting groupies. So help keep him encouraged with hot steamy funk-love comments and emails. It would feed his ego, which would probably make him post more, and would also make his lovely girlfriend super jealous, which I, being a big jerk, would find most entertaining. And y'know, now that I'm thinking about it, I could use some of that sweet "encouragement" action as well… [begin lecherous chuckling]heh-heh-heh…[end lecherous chuckling]

Frog Bashing as Art

Just to show Jonah Goldberg doesn't usually piss me off, here's a link to his latest, French-bashing article. This one is up there with his Red Dawn column. A brief excerpt:

So the question remains: Why is French-hating so popular today? It's not like they've denied us fly-over rights recently. We haven't had to liberate Paris again (yet). French forces haven't fired on us like they did during Operation Torch in North Africa. They haven't stuck us with Vietnam, or propped up Carrot Top's career the way they kept Jerry Lewis going all those years. And yet, if Major League Baseball goes on strike, smacking frogs with heavy sticks may finally become the national pastime, as God no doubt intended.

New Bases on The Red Sea?

StrategyPage mentions this DEBKA report (sorry no permalink, you'll have to scroll down) on a new US island base being built off the coast of Eritrea. It'll give us an alternative command and staging base to the Saudi's Prince Sultan airbase, which we'll need for the attack on Iraq since the Saudis won't let us use their bases. It also gives us a nice position to watch Sudan from.

Eritrea want's to be our friend, so they're all for it. As an added bonus, the base should serve to insure stability on the Eritrean-Ethiopian border, the site of 1998's bloody and pointless war between the two countries.

New friends for us at a time when we could use them, stability and security (and aid money) for them. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

A Little More on The Northwest Connection

The Seattle Times gave us a few more details over the weekend on where information on possible Seattle-based al-Qaida supporters came from. Apparently, a Taliban fighter (and a Britsh citizen) being held in Guantanamo Bay, has linked several members of the former Dar-us-Salaam mosque in Seattle with the now infamous North London Central Mosque. This is the same mosque where Zacharias “20th hijacker” Moussaoui, and Richard “shoebomber” Reid, had visited at various times in the last few years.

I wonder what else the CIA has gotten out of the GitMo prisoners?

Making Sense in the UK

The Telegraph launched what it calls the "Free Country" campaign last year, calling for an end to Parliament’s (or Brussels' or the UN's) constant intrusion on personal liberty. Considering the UK government's plan to restrict trial by jury and other rights, this seems a good time to stand up for your civil liberties.

If only a few of our major dailies could have such a strong and principled editorial position. We need critics in the media who oppose threats to our liberty for firm idealistic reasons, and not just because they hate the Bush Administration in general and John Ashcroft in particular (NY Times, I’m looking in your direction). With a war on, ancient and modern rights are under threat throughout the Anglosphere, and it’s up to the lot of us to make sure we keep what we’ve got. As the Telegraph’s Charles Moore says in his introduction, “...There's plenty to do. Libertad o muerte!”

More Steyn Now

The latest Mark Steyn column on the Spectator site (link via the fine folks at Middle East Realities) responds to Matthew Parris' column bemoaning american power, and reminds us why Euro-diplomacy is so useless. As usual, good stuff.

Chairman Mao Would be Pissing Himself in Anticipation

Drudge links to a brief Times of India story on the Chinese manned space flight program. According to the article, the Pentagon, in its annual repot on the Chinese military (for a more general overview of the report, see this Washington Times article), predicts that China will attempt a manned launch within the next two years. It also briefly discusses the emerging Chinese anti-satellite capability. This isn't a groundbreaking story, as the Chinese space program has been building up for years, but continuing reports of China's military buildup are starting to convince me that we need to start worrying about the Peoples Liberation Army sooner rather than later.

In the past, I've been fairly critical of the PLA's troublemaking capability. China has, and continues to have, too many internal problems to threaten the rest of the world. Population pressures, coupled with a corrupt and inefficient government and an archaic physical infrastructure, make it very difficult for the Chinese to harness their nation's great potential, and it also makes it difficult to support a quality military.

So far, the PLA's conventional ground and naval forces haven't even posed a credible threat to puny Taiwain. And although the Chinese space program has already produced Missiles capable of reaching the mainland United States, their small nuclear arsenal can be successfully deterred with America's own nukes.
What I'm most interested in is this anti-satellite capability the Chinese seem to be acquiring (this two year old Space Daily article gives a decent overview of China's anti-satellite program).

I've long thought China's ambitions might pose a serious threat within the next 20-30 years, but space and ground based anti-Satellite technologies will be ready for prime time in 5-10 years. For the past two decades America's military might has grown increasingly dominant through the use of smaller, more powerful, and more accurate forces. These forces depend on the communication and intelligence resources of the military's satellite network. A serious Chinese anti-satellite capability would devastate the effectiveness of our forces (and those of our allies -- read Taiwan), and would go a long way to giving the large, low-tech, Chinese forces effective parity with our smaller, high-tech, military.

Is the US military doing anything to prepare for these future weapons? Not that I can see (is the US military effectively keeping secrets for once?). Of course, what we really need is a cheaper launch platform, keeping the threat of anti-satellite weapons at bay by having a ready supply of replacements ready for orbit. But NASA, which should be working on this kind of stuff, hasn't come up with a viable launch system in a quarter century, and from the looks of it, we'll be stuck with the current shuttle for several decades to come. And we have NO heavy lifting capacity that would allow us to easily get into higher orbit.

Ian at Fierce Highway always keeps a healthily suspicious eye focused on our friends across the pacific. Over the past few days he's had a couple of good posts on the possibility of a near-term Chinese invasion of Taiwan, and the growing Chinese space capability. The combination of these two stories brings us to the real issue, as a Chinese attack on American satellites could seriously hamper any American response to an attack on Taiwan, as well as disabling our early warning defenses for any potential missile defense system.

China has no chance of matching America's conventional military forces without destroying the information resources that enable our current military supremacy. An assault on our satellite, telephone and data networks, while complicated, will certainly be within China's reach in the next few years. Within the next 50 years a collapsed / balkanized China is just as likely as an emerging superpower, and even if they do stay strong, It'll take decades for the Chinese to match our conventional capabilities. However, a space warfare capability, which could come online in as little as five years, could take the sharp out of America's sword, and give a decisive, if short term, advantage to the Chinese in any future conflict.

I don't think China will attack Taiwan any time in the next several years, it's still building its forces. But when they're ready, they'll move. While we're busy with the Terror War, the Chinese Communist Party will determine the next generation of its leadership, and we hope that this leadership will be more interested in peaceful economic expansion than violent military conquest, but it's too soon to tell. When the Middle East settles down, and the regimes of Iraq and Iran have been dealt with, the Chinese will still be there, looking hungrily at Taiwan and the rest of the Pacific. If the wrong people come to power, we need to be prepared.

Joining the Cobra Revolution

In connection with my earlier post on singing 80's cartoon villians, Memepool brings word of something even better -- Cobra: The Musical. Yes, all your favorite villians from the G.I. Joe cartoon show, from Cobra Commander to Zartan, singing on stage.

Sometimes I think there is hope for this species after all...

Fifth Columns in The Pacific Northwest

Looks like a small front in the War on Terror is being waged mere miles from my apartment here in sunny Seattle. Both Seattle papers (Times and PI) are running stories about small groups of alleged Islamists who were operating out of a Seattle mosque and a ranch in central Oregon. The LA Times also has the story.

All the papers mention links between this group’s leader, Semi Osman, a cleric at the Dar-us-Salaam mosque in Seattle’s Central District (a lower income and heavily minority area of the city), and radical Muslims in Britain, and possibly Al-Quada. The ranch in Oregon has even been described as a “jihad training camp.”

Osman was arrested in May on Gun and Immigration charges, but hasn’t been formally charged with any terrorist-related activities. Interestingly, the LA Times claims he’s an ex-soldier in the US Army, and now serves as a reservist for the Navy.

I’m always entertained when our brave chief of police speaks (from the PI story):

Seattle Police Chief Gil Kerlikowske said reports of al-Qaida terrorists in our midst are overblown.

"We know that Seattle -- the name Seattle -- does come up regularly in the different pieces of chatter that are monitored," Kerlikowske said. "(But) if there was something that was of concern, believe me we would make that information known."

In other words, the feds know something's coming, but you’ve got your head clearly lodged up your rectal cavity, adn therefore can't see anything. Atta boy, Gil! Have we ever had a decent police chief in this city? I know the last was sure a joke….

Those Damn, Dirty Irish

Speaking of Europeans that confuse me, here’s another story from the Telegraph on Irish Nationalist attacks against a Unionist parade. Twenty policeman were injured by a variety of riots, gasoline (call it petrol if you want guys) bombs, and brick throwing. And, despite one lovely young blogger’s obvious sympathies on the subject, the whole damned thing makes me desperately ashamed of having even one quarter of my genetics emanating from the Emerald Isle. Come on guys, Cromwell was 350 years ago. Most of these stupid proddie / catholic battles ended sometime in the 18th century. Can’t ya just work it out?

I think, on this side of the pond at least, the Unionist / Nationalist conflict simply stymies all but the most interested of Irish Americans.

The funny thing is how many of those silly Irish Americans there are. The vile IRA receives millions from American-based Irish orginizations, while Sinn Fein’s Gerry Adams meets with our good friend Fidel Castro. Dickheads.

My mother, as an opposite example, was raised Protestant in Idaho, and insists on wearing orange on St. Patrick’s day, despite the fact that her mother’s Irish ancestors (who’d been in the good ol’ USA since the 1890’s) were green Catholics from Cork. Hoho, the sweet irony. I’ll bet great-great-grandma Barry would be pissed.

I can’t say as I fault mom for her choice, though. The Republicans have been terrorists since the get go, but Unionists have certainly responded in kind. I guess, As P.J. O’Rourke would say, there’s an “acceptable level of violence.” Acceptable to the people lobbing bombs I suppose.

My dad, being the wonderfully cranky English / Indian / Scandinavian mutt he is (and I certainly identify more with that than mom’s supposed Irish heritage), simply watches the TV news and mumbles beneath his breath, “fucking idiots…”

Why those Irish guys can’t just settle on going after the hot Colleens (of which the Irish people can claim many fine examples), instead of firebombing parades, is beyond me. What, are they putting estrogen in the beer over there, removing the normal male desire to focus entirely on the fly honeys? It's quite simple lads: Killing civilians over religion and history = bad, getting jiggy with the chicks = good. C'mon guys, figure it out already!

Those Europeans Confuse Me Sometimes

News today from the Telegraph that while Spain and Britain are deadlocked in discussions on the sovereignty of Gibraltar, Moroccans are attacking some of the remaining Spanish colonies in Moroccan North Africa. The irony, of course, is that while the Spanish are demanding control over Gibraltar, which the Brits seized in the 19th century, the Moroccans are doing the same against their own former colonial masters.

I’m pleased that the British government has postponed any decision on Gibraltar, but am confused on why they won’t just let the people of Gibraltar choose which government they want. It’s a pretty simple choice: Britain, Spain (not bloody like according to the poles I’ve seen), or Independence. These are British citizens we’re talking about here, and it would seem to me that they should have a say in what happens to them. Tony Blair’s government seems a tricky bunch to me, and I fear that they might sell out the people of Gibraltar for allies in the EU. However, as I’m not British, I’ll leave the second-guessing of Blair to the people of that fine island nation (and I have faith they will put him through the proper wringers).

HOHOHO, free of blogger crashes, and with a nicer UI!

Welcome, friends, to the all new CaptainMojo.com.

I spent my mildly uncomfortable sick day yesterday setting up Movable Type and desiging and coding up this template. Now it's all up and running. Oh happy day!

I've probably got some more tweaking with the templates and style sheets to do, but I think I've caught all the major bugs. Please take a look around, and let me know if you run into any Gremlins.

Also, the new email address is [surprise] captainmojo@captainmojo.com. Clever, no?

P.S. If you non Internet Explorer guys out there could let me know if the template looks OK, I'd be much obliged. I haven't had a chance to test in much other than MSIE.

*UPDATE*
Well now, doesn't that just figure. I get the new site all running, and Blogger won't let me post the announcement on the old blogspot site. Goddamn Blogger...

*UPDATE*
OK, there it goes. That's the last post I make on blogger! Huzah!

Low Blogging Rate

I've been feeling a bit under the weather, and I need to set up my new domain, so blogging might be light for the next few days.

What, You Read Satre or Something?

PejmanPundit links to Jonah Goldberg’s latest NRO column on the “Dangerous Ideas” of postmodernism fueling the modern lefty morons. I normally like Goldberg’s articles, but this one just pisses me off. I suppose I'm just not a conservative in my heart of hearts. A brief excerpt from his buildup that I found particularly unsound:

But beneath all the clichés, posturing and, breast-beating from "lovers of liberty" and civil libertarians of all parties, there's an inescapable fact. Some ideas are dangerous. If you are a reasonable person, you will concede this point — even if you disagree with me on which ideas were dangerous. My list includes those notions which constitute the cores of Nazism, Stalinism, communism, postmodernism, Maoism, relativism, scientific socialism, Hale-Boppism, running-with-scissorsism, et al. If you're on the left you might take a few of those off and add capitalism, conservatism, manifest destiny, whatever.

I am apparently not a reasonable person (this should come as no surprise to my small number of regular readers). I hate postmodernism as much as the next guy. Postmodernism and its descendents are irrational, hypocritical, and generally stupid, but saying that ideas are responsible for the worst death and destruction of the twentieth century is silly. To paraphrase the famous quote, ideas don’t kill people, people kill people. Ideas are excuses for evil actions done by people suffering from small penises or other hate inducing conditions.

There are big differences in ideology between Stalinists, Fascists, Nazis, and Maoists, but each of these creeds is remembered more for the vile acts committed in their names, than the actual ideas they espoused. Goldberg’s whole concept of “Dangerous Ideas” seems to imply that an ideas is simply waiting to hijack unsuspecting people’s brains and use them for its own nefarious purposes. It’s the same outlook as the liberal who sees the soldier trained to use a gun as nothing but a killer, even if the guy is a marine cook. Understanding an idea is not the same as accepting it. People in a free society choose their actions, and they choose what to believe.

Ideas would be dangerous if human minds were blank slates, and could be filled with whatever random memes got pumped in. This seems to be what Goldberg fears. The “Blank Slate” is an existentialist argument, and once you’ve gone existentialist, you might as well sign up for the postmodernist fan club, because you’ve bought into the whole cultural determinist mindset.

Ideas are like technology, in that they have no intrinsic morality, but actions do. Some actions are evil, according to god (if you’re religious), natural law (if you’re more of the agnostic / deist persuasion) or some kind of preprogrammed social instincts (for you strict Darwinists out there). People are not blank slates, and added to that, humans are supposedly rational creatures. Some people choose to do evil acts, regardless of ideology, and ideas are often used by these evil people to commit horrendous crimes.

Freedom involves choices, and choices involve consequences. When it comes down to it, are you hosting your memes, or are your memes hosting you?

If you’re really concerned about the dangers of postmodern memes, create reasonable alternatives that are more effective in enticing those juicy blank brains. Calling ideas dangerous is to be afraid of them, and fear leads to attempts at suppression. Running away from a faulty idea in fear or hiding it in shadows (which Goldberg doesn’t go quite so far as to advocate) will only give the idea a festering underground quality that the kids love. Only by bringing worthless ideologies into the open can you show their stupidity and evil for all to see, and completely discredit them.

Witness the suppression and censorship of anti-Semitism and Nazism in Europe, versus the open debunking and ridicule of those ideals in the United States. In the USA, we’ve got KKK meetings attended by 10 inbred racists harmlessly ranting to 100’s of self-important journalists. In Europe, we’ve got synagogue burnings quietly hushed up and neo-fascist candidates getting 20% of the vote. Oh, yeah, if ideas are dangerous, then censorship certainly works guys…

Is The Sun Suddenly Shining a Little Brighter?

Carter is in Venezuala, Farrakhan is visiting Iraq, and Nader is chillin' with Uncle Fidel in Havana. Life is good.

Now if we could only send Noam to North Korea, we'd be batting 1.000.

Mwuhahaha

Via Asparagirl, via Scott Ganz, all the baddest villians of 80's saturday morning cartoons sing Tears for Fears' "Everyone wants to Save the World." It's a big download, but for us youngsters who can tell the difference between an Autobot and Decepticon, it's a worthwhile piece of pure nostalgic goodness.

Trouble In Turkey?

From CNN, Turkey's coalition government is on the verge of collapse amid several ministerial resignations and worries about the Prime Minister's health. New elections will likely be called shortly. I'm fairly ignorant on this situation, but instability in Turkey, our closest ally in the Islamic world, is troubling with the invasion of Iraq imminent...

Blair’s UK Government Backs GM Crops

This Telegraph Article informs us that Tony Blair’s UK government has decided to promote growing Genetically Modified crops in Britain. This is a completely reasonable decision. What’s unreasonable is what the EU’s reaction to it will be. GM foods have been around for years now, and science has shown they pose no threat to the environment or human health. Quite the contrary. GM crops provide larger yields per land area used, are cheaper to grow, and require far less in the way of environmentally damaging pesticides.

The Luddite Left claims it wants to feed the Third World and improve the environment, but when a biotechnology tool comes around to help achieve these goals, it is not only rejected, but irrationally attacked by those who should see its greatest value. Curious, no?

Saddam, Meet Buck (Rodgers That Is)

A little item for all those who, like myself, drool over new high-tech weapons: a June 30th post on Strategypage notes that the Air Force is beginning to research lasers for Air-to-Air combat. I did some searching, and found a more indepth article on SpaceDaily. The goal is to arm the new F-22s and F-35s (and perhaps the older F-15s and F-16s) with high-energy lasers. Pretty cool, especially with all the advances made off of the airborne Anti-Ballistic Laser research project, currently being tested on a modified 747.

One of these days, directed energy weapons are going to revolutionize warfare, and maybe even spaceflight. One of these days...

The Peanut Farmer And Simon Bolivar's Slow Stepchildren

So it looks like my good buddy Jimmy Carter has arrived in Hugo Chavez's fragmented Venezuela (link via El Sur). Well, ain't that just swell.

The trip is supported by Chavez, but seen as a delaying tactic by opposition groups, who have attempted one coup and are most likely formulating another one. So far, few in the opposition are willing to talk to him, and since Carter seems to be all friendly-like with Hugo, I don't see why the opposition should listen to him.

The article ends with a nice little jab at the ex-pres though, which I think sums up Carter's diplomacy career:

Carter visited Cuba in May and noted dissident efforts to call a referendum on whether Cuba should allow freedom of expression and other rights. Afterward, Cuba's National Assembly enshrined socialism in the constitution as "irrevocable." The Carter Center has declined comment.

Ouch, that must sting there Jimbo...

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

Vodkapundit states his thoughts on the coming invasion of Iraq.

If, By Witty, You Mean Boring and Inane...

Found the link to George Michael's "Shoot the Dog" video (link via Damian Penny, via Norwegian Blogger). What can I say? It's a really, really, dumb song. If you watch it, note where Michael enters the oval office... that little bit of self-referential humor almost redeems the video. Hehehe...

Does Powell Have Hurt Feelings? Poor Baby...

The Telegraph has this story on Colin Powell's supposed anger with the civilian leaders of the pentagon. According to the article, Powell has, despite unhappiness related to his lack of influence in the oval office, decided to stay on as Secretary of State:

Colin Powell, the beleaguered Secretary of State, has delivered an angry riposte to the Pentagon hardliners responsible for his recent string of policy defeats - insisting to allies that he "won't let those bastards drive me out".

Despite his frustration at President Bush's tendency to side with Donald Rumsfeld, the Defence Secretary, on issues ranging from the Middle East to the International Criminal Court, Gen Powell is making it clear that he does not intend to quit before the next presidential election.

"He won't resign because to do so would be tantamount to admitting defeat," said a senior Washington official. "He would only go earlier if he thought he had lost the president's confidence and there is no sign of that. He thinks it is better to carry on and have some influence from inside the administration than to leave and have none."

Now, I've tried to give Powell the benefit of the doubt, and I thought after Dubya's anti-Yassir speech, Foggy Bottom might shut the hell up and get with the program. However, if Powell is bitching to foreign governments about other members of the administration, he has no business representing the United States as our voice to the world.

The administration has made up its mind on Kyoto, opposition to Yassir "more kiddie bombers please" Arafat, and the ICC. Powell is Secretary of State. His job is to provide the president with information, and then act as our chief diplomat. He's given his advice. It's been rejected. Now his job is to convince other governments to accept our position, or at least to accept the reality of the situation.

I've still got some hope for Powell. I think he is, at his core, a good man, and that he actually believes the State Department's bumbling multilateralism is the right course to follow. But he's wrong. We're at war. Firm stands need to be taken by the chief executive, and once those decisions are made, the cabinet needs to close ranks behind those stands. I think Stephen Green got it right a while ago:

"…Powell would be the perfect king for a mythical land where all is well and peaceful. The people could admire his sagacity and strength from afar, and there would be no messy international problems to soil his reputation. His background and bearing would bring peoples of all colors and creeds together in harmony."

But as the esteemed Vodkapundit notes, that's not the world we live in. Powell is a good diplomat, but he needs to remember whose diplomatic goals he's supposed to be promoting. The president listened to Powell's recommendations, and rejected them. That's done. He can still give his advice to the president, and can privately disagree with decisions the administration makes, but he must not whine to foreign dignitaries about how he won't let "those bastards" drive him out. He has a job to do, and if he's not willing to fulfill that job by towing the party line, he needs to step down.

I don't know, maybe this is just more Rope-A-Dope^TM designed to placate the Euroweenies.

Marching Towards Victory

I’m starting to think about getting my own domain, and switching over to Movable Type. So I have a couple of quick questions for my fellow blogtroopers out there who are using MT: did you have any trouble setting it up? Was importing old blogger posts too tough? Is there anything important you've learned I should know before commiting?

More Steyn

Mark Steyn’s latest column (link via Daily Pundit) is chock full of goodness. Everything from Independence Day, the silliness of the “Under God” decision, to the nature of limited government, he touches it all.

If Middle Earth was run by Euroweenies

Mike over at Coldfury.com brings us the sequel to Lord Of The Rings, after all of middle earth gives up war and accepts the wonderful justice of an International Criminal Court…

Funny shit I tell you.

Alive and Kicking

Ok, after a day of misery following the debauchery of the 4th, I feel much better. Blogging can now recommence…

Uggg

Too much Gin last night, left me a miserable wreck. No posting of any value can be made today....

Happy Goddamn 4th!

I'm going to a friends houseboat on Lake Union to watch the Fireworks and get my boozie on. Blogging will be suspended until the hangover subsides.

Have a good one.

Quote Of The Day

"We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be detested in France."

Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington
1769-1852

The BBC: Britain's Colonoscopy Without The General Anesthetic

Over the past few days, the BBC has been hyping American "Attacks" on Afghan civilians. This is annoying, but you come to expect it from a left-leaning organization. Hell, CNN has practically jumped to the same conclusions. And there is a sizable anti-American contingent on the island, so some Guardian-esque slander against the good 'ol USA is almost to be expected.

But why does the BBC hate Britain?

This year's Last Night of the Proms will not include the traditional singing of Rule Britannia. According to this article from the Independent (found via Tim Blair),

The BBC has decided to bring down the curtain on the annual rendition of "Rule, Britannia" at the Last Night of the Proms. The change means there will be no solo singer this year to lead the audience through the seven jingoistic verses and choruses of the raucous Malcolm Sargent version. Instead they will have to make do with the original, instrumental version, which is part of Henry Wood's "Fantasia on British Sea Songs". Leonard Slatkin, the American chief conductor of the BBC Symphony Orchestra, said they were only reflecting the public's own ambivalence towards the popular anthem.

"We have had a lot of letters saying that it is time to get rid of "Rule, Britannia", and I must admit I am not completely comfortable with playing it," he told the Radio Times today. " 'Rule, Britannia' does seem a little militaristic, and though it's wonderful to celebrate who you are and have faith in your country, I don't think we should exclude others. The Last Night of the Proms is an important occasion; in Japan they get up at 4am to watch it. Anyway, I'm not certain the sentiments of the words resonate in the way some people think they should. It does seem a little outdated."

Outdated my ass. It's a cool song.

The lyrics are certainly jingoistic, if by jingoism you mean not rolling over Petain-esquely for a nice butt reaming. I mean, read 'em for chrissakes! The whole damn world could use a little reminder on how Nelson, Wellington, and the men like them and under them, saved the world from Napoleonic tyranny. Or how Churchill fought the dark Nazi regime in WW II, and how Maggie Thatcher stood against the inhuman Communist regimes of the cold war. But, no, "I don't think we should exclude others."

Sometimes I worry about our British cousins (and the American conductors they hire)....

Friedman Makes Sense?

Vodkapundit links to a unnaturally sensible Thomas Friedman article, which reminds us all how backward the Arab world really is. One statistic of interest:

The U.N. Development Program, which published, along with the Arab Fund for Economic and Social Development, a brutally honest Arab Human Development Report yesterday analyzing the three main reasons the Arab world is falling off the globe. (The G.D.P. of Spain is greater than that of all 22 Arab states combined.)

That’s Spain. The poor kid of the Europe Union. Arab nations have around 230 million people in them; Spain has around 40 million. According to these numbers, Spanish per capita wealth production is 115 times that of the combined Arab nations.

As an aside, the US GDP (per capita) is twice that of Spain, and our population is nearing 300 million…

Do things need to change for the Arabs? I think so.

Animated Goodness

I just saw The Iron Giant for the first time, and I must say, it was a pretty damn good watch, even for a kids cartoon. Nice animation, an interesting story, all kinds of adult level politics and philosophy under the surface...

Another Mojo recommendation.

Riddle Me This Batman

While my subscription to Foreign Affairs magazine brings me a year's worth of excellent analysis and opinion on current world events, it also puts me on all kinds of other magazine mailing lists. I got an add for the New Yorker today, which is, in and of itself, not that interesting.

What is interesting however, is where the add came from. Where might the billing center for the New Yorker be located?
...
Anyone?
...
Anyone?
...

If you guessed Bonne Iowa, you win a prize!

Also Sprache Den Beste

For drunken ranting and attempted smarty-pants humor regarding the International Criminal Court, you come see Mojo. For a well thought-out discussion of the United States government's refusal to work with the court, and our other "Unilateral" decisions as of late, go read Steven Den Beste.

Harness the power of his cold, hard, rational prose to vanquish all your enemies...

Errrrrr....

Europe seethes as defiant US goes its own way (Link via Daily Pundit).

I'd just like to take this opportunity to give a big "Fuck You" to Tony Blair's government ministers, who see the US administration as "very unhelpful" and "bloody-minded" when it comes to giving up our citizens to politically appointed International Tribunals. If you guys can't see how worthless the ICC is, then you deserve to rot with your fellow EUro-Socialist fucktard friends on the continent while we start building the CoDominion with the Russians.

Musician Lefty Death, and Other Lameness

George Michael, pop “musician,” has turned into a deep political thinker. An interview in the UK’s Mirror, a publication which bills itself as “Newspaper of the Year” and Michael as Britain’s “most gifted contemporary songwriter,” has an interview where Georgie where he explains his latest single, “Shoot the Dog.” The song is a satire on Tony Blair’s relationship with George Bush and the war on terrorism, with Blair portrayed as Bush’s Poodle. The song features such insightful lyrics as:

Nine nine nine gettin'' jiggy
People did you see that fire in the city?
It's like we''re fresh out of democratic,
Gotta get yourself a little
something semi-automatic yeah...

I did happen to see that fire actually, and I was a bit put off by it. However, what does the adjective democratic mean when used as a noun? As for arming yourself, Hurray!

The Ayatollah''s gettin'' bombed yeah,
See Sergeant Bilko having fun again,
Good puppy, good puppy
Rollin' on over for The Man....

When did we start bombing Iran, and why didn’t anybody tell me about it? I would’ve made popcorn…

I believe, I believe what the old man said
Though I know that there''s no lord above
I believe in me, I believe in you
And you know I believe in love
I believe in truth though I lie a lot
I feel the pain from the push and shove
No matter what you put me through
I''ll still believe in love
And I say

Now, I know that hot man-on-man action can be a little rough at times, but does it really leave you this incoherent. I mean, what the fuck are you singing about here Georgie? Sure, I’m taking chunks out of the lyrics, but read the whole thing. Even for insipid pop music, they’re awful. He’s just mad because America wouldn’t let him give handjobs to random men in a public restroom. Poor baby.

Michael’s hatred for the war on terrorism, however, brings me to my larger point: the seemingly inevitable turn of inconsequential has-been musicians and artists into rabid leftists. Why is it that musicians and artists, who so overwhelming espouse their beliefs in individualism, are such fervent Collectivists when it comes to politics? It’s been a general rule in my life that the higher number of body piercings a person has, the more they expect me to subsidize their dumb-asses.

Leftist activism is but the final step to irrelevancy for a performer. The more a person’s talent (or just their popularity) wanes, the less they produce, and the more it becomes solely of interest to their hardcore fans. Then the new music becomes a lowly trickle, and the only press the artist gets is when they espouse their loopy political beliefs for CNN. Eddie Veder of Pearl Jam was, with the ever-irritating Phil Donohue, Ralph Nader’s big media supporter. Krist Novoselic, Nirvana’s former bassist who hasn’t produced any music of worth since Kurt Kobain emptied a shotgun into his own face, is an avowed Lenninist (when the Washington State Libertarian Party had Novoselic giving a speech during their 2002 convention, I decided I would never, ever, become a big L libertarian).

These are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head. Aside from Ted Nugent, I’m hard-pressed to think of a name of a pop or rock star who wasn’t somewhere to the left of Che Guevara, and I’m not even talking about the greatest leftist wanker rock band of all time, Rage Against the Machine. What makes these brave soldiers against the oppresive fascist right-wingers attach themselves to an ideology which calls for the destruction of Individual freedoms they say they care so much about. Well, they are hypocrites, and, like our boy Georgie, seem to be historically illiterate.

But by stating their opposition to the government, or big business, they try to hold onto that youthful rebellion, and the accompanying hipness, that once propelled them to fame. They are destined to fail, as no one, and I mean no one, wants to hear a pudgy thirty eight year old multimillionaire sing about smoking pot and sticking it to the man.

**UPDATE**
Damian Penny has a similiar, if more concise and less drunken, article on Michael's "Political" song

Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fu... Oh, Sorry, I Get Confused Sometimes

The UK Telegraph has this article on the EU's decision to emulate Tony Blair's spin tactics to influence voters in upcoming Euro referendums in Britain and Sweden:

The document, written in French and entitled An Information and Communication Strategy for the European Union, calls for a pre-emptive use of public relations to promote "the legitimacy, image, and role of the union".

"A true EU communication method cannot be limited to mere diffusion of information: it must give a sense to things and put the EU's actions and policies in perspective," it says.

"If factual, neutral information is necessary, it is not sufficient. Experience shows that information cannot remain neutral because of the constant distortion by the media, intermediaries and other multipliers of opinion."

That damn free media is always such a freakin' nuisance. Why can't people just vote the way we tell them. Boy, If we just had Castro's poll numbers, that'd be swell. Stupid Democracy...

But don't worry Britain, if Captain Euro is any indication, EU propaganda will be ineffective, and perhaps somewhat amusing.

Gore, Gore, Gore

Ok, am I the only person who thinks Al Gore made a big mistake in shaving off the old beard? Now, I know some people think beards are anathema to political campaigns, but it seems a good break with the man's previous, untrustworthy profile. It gave him a pleasant, almost fatherly appearence.

I certainly bought it more than his recent blathering that, if he had it to do over again, he would let it rip, ignoring advisors and pollsters (link via Vodkapundit). Yeah right, Al, I can see you as the ol' truthgiver.

I tell ya, between Gore and Daschle, I can't imagine the Dems winning anything aside from laughs. Maybe if he would've kept that beard...