Start Strumming!

OK kids, Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy fever is sweeping the nation, and I, like all good hearted people, am intent on helping the spread. Last night I transcribed the lyrics and tried to figure out the guitar chords. This morning, the good Dr. Frank himself went to the trouble of correcting many of my more egregious errors. This here interweb thingy is wonderful indeed.

Six string samurais fightin’ the good fight can view the chord / lyrics file here.

The Lyrics by themselves are below:

Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy
By Dr. Frank

I don't have much in common with the man from old Najaf.
I think I understand him though I guess I could be off.
America is beautiful and flawed,
Inspiring, contradictory, and odd.

democracy, whiskey, sexy.
democracy, whiskey, sexy.

Did you see them pull the statue down how did it look to you?
Did you see them hit the picture of a monster with a shoe?
America was flying through the skies.
America was streaming from my eyes.

democracy, whiskey, sexy.
democracy, whiskey, sexy.

Our day is just his night, but I want him to be right.
So I'll drink to him
Please don't let him down.

Anything can happen, and it's complicated, but,
I can tell the future from a feeling in my gut.

democracy, whiskey, sexy.
democracy, Democracy, expedience, idealism, hope, sexy, whiskey.

Long Weekend

I took the past two days off from work, to recover from Easter festivities and to celebrate the completion of the latest hell project. Instead of doing something constructive like writing, or working on the blog, or cleaning the mound of filth that has accumulated in my apartment, I decided to spend my time safely planted in my LayZBoy drinking heavily and watching TV. I believe this was the right decision.

One thing I did miss while in my self-imposed exile, was Dr. Frank's new song Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy. It is beautiful, and I love it. My hat's off to the good doctor.

I was actually going to write a similarly themed song over the weekend, but I got lazy and instead ended up with a couple of songs about biblical figures physically assaulting me, and unsuccessful attempts to date Jewish women. They are somewhat amusing. One of these weeks I'll record them and post them somewhere.

However, I've got roughly 14 more hours of slack time to enjoy, so I think I'll get back to it.

UN Assmonkery

Anne Applebaum, one of my favorite columnists, has a nice little piece (link via Jim Miller) on UN Human Rights Commission assmonkery. The commission, most recently remembered for kicking the United States out of its ranks last year, is now gathering for its annual “we hate the evil Zionists and Americans” festival in Geneva. Moammar Qaddafi’s Libya currently heads the organization. Much of the diplomatic pretensions of dictatorships are discussed, as is the west’s (including the US) use of Human Rights rhetoric to further petty geo-political goals.

Applebaum’s summary judgement:

It is not just the politics of the world's dictatorships that distort the U.N. human rights debate, in other words, but the politics of the world's great democracies as well. And does it matter? "No" is the easy, short answer: The U.N. Human Rights Commission long ago equivocated itself into moral obscurity and, as a result, lost whatever credibility Eleanor Roosevelt bestowed on it 50 years ago. But the longer, more complicated answer is, unfortunately, "yes": These sundry resolutions, declarations and rapporteurs matter because they matter to the people involved. It may all be a political game to us -- or to the French -- but to the Russian or Sudanese governments, any U.N. statement that absolves them of blame for civilian casualties in their respective wars will help legitimize those wars in the eyes of their own people as well as foreigners', and allow them to continue.

As many people noted during last years UNHRC fiasco (I’m too lazy to look for links right now), the lunatics are running the asylum in this and many other areas of the UN. This is not diplomacy, or international dialog, or any other kind of quasi useful behavior. This is a Python-esque farce. It’s time for the US to stop participating in diplo-masturbation like this, to stop strengthening the diplomatic and political position of regimes that have no actual regard for human rights. Boycott the UNHRC, denounce it publicly, and keep shouting out all of its interesting “foibles”.

I petition that they all shut the hell up

I'm late in posting this, but Andy has a delightful petition for all the "Not In Our Name" folks to sign:

We, the undersigned, do hereby affirm that we have been, and continue to be, against the hostilities in Iraq.

Stories of the horrors of the Baghdad regime did not sway us. Saddam Hussein’s well-publicized history as a ruthless tyrant did not sway us. The possible threats from terrorism and weapons of mass destruction did not sway us. The continued disregard of numerous United Nations resolutions detailing a clear path for Iraq’s return to global legitimacy did not sway us.

And now, the fighting is ending. The Coalition's victory is assured. The Iraqi people are being liberated.

Their destiny will be one of their own choosing – because they will finally be free to choose.

And this disappoints us to no end...

So far, there's lots of bitching in the comments, but no actual signing by those damnable peace-mongers. What a suprise.

Reality can be a real son of a bitch sometimes, and it's in the process of clobbering the hell out of the pacifists. They're still too busy bitching about how the racist and criminal Bushie oil thieves stole an election two and a half years ago to realize that the entire world has drastically changed on them.

Fortunately these people have no more powers than those of annoyance and irritation. They have no real economic or political capabilities, and the vast majority of the population ignores them. This, of course, makes them froth even more.

They’re like a 90 year old Klansman, spewing hate, angry, bitter, and evil, but also impotent, trapped in a wheelchair, barely capable of speech, and dependant on nurses to change his diapers. In other words, truly pathetic. I just can’t get that angry at these people anymore, they’re simply too pitiable.

No Shit Sherlock

Iraqi UN Ambassador, Mohammed Aldouri (you know, Mr. "US is launching a war of extermination") has apparently admitted the Iraqi regime is fucked:

"The game is over," Aldouri said, his first admission that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein no longer controls Baghdad.

"My hope now is peace, for everybody. I hope that peace will prevail and the Iraqi people at the end of the day will have a peaceful life," Aldouri said.

It looks like this is just one more assurance that Hussein is worm food, although Aldouri is claiming that he hasn't heard from Baghdad in days. Regardless, its just bolsters my belief that VI day is near at hand.

VI day's coming soon

I just watched an ITN reporter showing video of Iraqis greeting Marines and tearing down statues of Saddam. It's certainly one of those "Berlin Wall falling" moments.

Best of all, the reporter signed off with his location: "Liberated Baghdad".

Now that sounds pretty goddamn good to me...

The war ain't over, but it's been a helluva day.

Oh Happy Day.

Today marks my first blogiversary. Yes, one year ago today I took my first great steps into the mighty blogosphere, with a decidedly crappy first post. And there was much rejoicing…

While, I’m off blogspot, and the posts have been sparser lately, the same dedication to drunken, meandering, and oftentimes insane ranting continues with equal enthusiasm. And I will always despise Phil Donahue.

It’s been fun so far…

The Best Slogan In Years

You'll notice that Howard's No Iraq Bomb graphic is gone from my sidebar. It's been a fine little wartime reminder, but since Allied forces are now inside Baghdad city limits, the liberation of the Iraqi people is at hand. I can now replace it with a quote from a liberated Iraqi, a quote that sums up in 3 little words all that is best in America.

James Lileks turns this quote into art.

The good times in Iraq will get started very soon indeed.

What the Hell Did You Think The Marines Do?

A young marine reservist suddenly realises he's a conscientious objector:

Wearing camouflage fatigues, Lance Cpl. Stephen Funk turned himself in at the locked gates of the Marine Corps reserve center where he was assigned, weeks after refusing to report when called up to active duty.

"Ultimately, it's my fault for joining in the first place," said Funk, who didn't show up when his unit was deployed to Camp Pendleton. "It wasn't as well thought out as it should've been. It was about me being depressed and wanting direction in life."

Now what did this guy think he was signing up for, Boy scouts? Has he never seen a goddamn movie. The article states that he grew up in Washington state. As a native Washingtonian, I can personally attest to the anti-military indoctrination he got from the school system. So what's his excuse?

He said he caved in to pressure from a recruiter who capitalized on his vulnerability.

"They don't really advertise that they kill people," Funk said. "I didn't really realize the full implications of what I was doing and what it really meant to be in the service as a reservist."

Of course, it was the mean ol' recruiter's fault!

Youth, stupidity, and teen angst are no excuse buddy. Stephen Funk, you're our Fucktard Of The Week! Congratulations.

UPDATE: Since he might fail for a conscientious objector status, young Mr. Funk is now ensuring he sees no combat by proclaiming that he is gay:

"I believe that as a gay man, someone who is misunderstood by much of the general population, I have a great deal of experience with hatred and oppression," Lance Cpl. Stephen Funk wrote in his application for a conscientious objector discharge.

Yup, hatred and oppression, blah blah blah. That still doesn't explain why you joined the marines in the first place fucktard...

Jeebus…

I guess ya gotta give the boy credit for being thorough in his weaselness…

Hot Damn!

We got one of our POWs back!

UPDATE: The TeeVee is saying that an Iraqi delivered a handwritten note showing exactly where Pfc. Jessica Lynch was located. It also said she was being tortured. With this info, the rescue team moved in.

On the shitty side, several dead American's were also found along with Lynch. Still, I figured Lynch was dead for sure, so this is still good news.